GASPARILLA, PART I
Now that it's over, the pirates can get back to their full-time jobs plundering the local economy, overbuilding our suburbs and creating more low-paying, dead-end service industry jobs.
POLICE TO REUNITE
As a quartet this time: Andy Summers on guitar, Stewart Copeland on drums, Sting on bass and Sting's ego on percussion.
GASPARILLA, PART II
Tampa Tribune execs promise to double the number of column inches of ass-kissing coverage next year, making all of January 2008's issues news-free.
JANE FONDA AT PEACE RALLY
Proposes a deal for President Bush: "Pull out of Iraq and I won't make Monster-in-Law 2."
GASPARILLA, PART III
In the plus column, we salute the whole beads-for-breast-flashing thing.
And the Betamax of operating software marches on.
Tribune opts for free Monday-Friday paper, Orange Daily (aka OD*).
Sorry, wasn't talking about the movie's Oscar snub, just reminiscing about my prom night.
ANGELINA JOLIE'S MOTHER DIES
It's a shame she didn't live long enough to see her daughter become irrelevant. It's a shame we won't, either.
—Compiled by Creative Loafing staff.