The Tampa Bay area had its warmest December in 75 yrs and its highest
December 31 temp ever. Jacksonville's annual New Year's "Polar Plunge" took
place in 70-degree weather, 61-degree water. An Associated Press poll
reports that 25 percent of Americans think it "at least somewhat likely"
that Jesus will return to Earth in 2007 (46 percent of white evangelical
Christians say that). Pat Robertson said God told him personally that there
will be a mass-murder terrorist attack on the U.S. this year (which
raises a number of questions, but Pat apparently doesn't take follow-up).
[St. Petersburg Times] [Florida Times-Union] [for poll/Robertson results,
visit Yr Editor's News of the Weird Daily]

Jacksonville's Daryl Brown Has No Worries, Though He just moved in from Texas, and a neighbor discovered there's a tree in
Brown's front yard with a bark formation resembling Jesus. Brown believes it's
real because "Jesus don't just pop up like that." One neighbor: "I can't say
what I feel. I just feel it." Another told WJXT-TV that every time she walks
her dog now, she is comforted knowing Jesus is watching over her. [WJXT-TV
(Jacksonville)]

The Inspirational, 96-Year-Old Workaholic Albert Facchiano, born in 1910, lives with a daughter in Bal Harbour, but
not so quietly. At least as recently as 2003, according to the feds, he was
a player in the Gambino family, and is now under indictment both in Miami
and New York on different alleged escapades. His Miami co-indictees are
pleading right and left as their February trial date approaches. If Albert
(aka "Chinky" and "The Old Man") is convicted of everything, he's looking at
60 yrs. [Associated Press via Lakeland Ledger]

Donald Trump's Ego-Sized U.S. Flag Old Glory at his Mar-a-Lago Palm Beach estate is 25 ft by 50 ft, which is
roughly seven or eight times the maximum that the city permits. They
demanded it come down. He sued for $10 million. Now, he's reconsidered:
$25 million! Plus some choice, reserved-for-Rosie-O'Donnell-like
invective toward the city. [South Florida Sun-Sentinel]

Follow-Ups January 10th is the date by which the residents of that oceanside trailer
park, Briny Breezes, have to ratify (or not) the buyout offer that will make
them all millionaires [The F State, 12-13-2006, 12-12-2006]. Only 2/3 need
approve, but apparently it won't be unanimous because, dammit, a home is a
home. [Associated Press via MSNBC] . . . . . A guy named Adam Balam was
arrested as a suspect in those Boynton Beach armed pants-jacking robberies
[The F State, 12-21-2006] [WFTV, Orlando]

Your Daily Losers A Fruitland Park (Lake County) couple is charged with beating their
kids (ages 1, 3, 6, 7) after investigators noticed severe bruising and other
things. Arrested were Charles and Tiffany Beattie [WKMG-TV
(Orlando)]

More Things To Worry About Today Your classic Florida auto accident: A motorcyclist with throttle open, but
no helmet, is hit by an 89-yr-old driver rolling through a stop sign in Cape
Coral [WBBH-TV (Fort Myers)] . . . . . Happy New Year: Two Daytona Beach
buddies, playing around with a loaded gun on New Year's eve, alcoholically
stylin' and profilin', and one went down [South Florida Sun-Sentinel] . . .
. . In Miami over New Year's, only four people were wounded this yr by
bullets falling from the sky after celebratory gunfire [Miami Herald], and
in St. Petersburg, a woman is wounded by a falling bullet that drew blood
after landing in her bra [St. Petersburg Times] . . . . . In an internal
dispute, four anti-racist Skinheads administered a beatdown to three
Skinheads who might not share those views [St. Petersburg Times] . . . . .
The Ritz-Carlton Sarasota now offers guests' dogs massages and a gourmet
overnight package ($130 plus $220) [Associated Press via Miami Herald] . . .
. . In newspaper lingo, "burying the lede": The St. Petersburg
Times published excerpts of a poem about Florida by James E. Tokley,
Sr., that Gov. Crist wanted read yesterday at the inauguration. (Buried
lede: There's a poet laureate of Tampa?).

This article appears in Jan 3-9, 2007.