I am a straight 24-year-old female who has known my fiancé since freshman year of college. He has a fetish where he likes to watch women use the bathroom. I knew this, having seen some of his porn early on, and I accepted it. We all have kinks. But while peeing in front of someone isn’t that big of a deal, shitting in front of someone is hard. So we had a lovely night going, when I had to poop. We went into the bathroom together. He got very horny, but I couldn’t go. I said I was sorry, maybe I’ll be more relaxed later, and he goes, “Well, let’s fuck in here in case you have to go.” He wanted to do it sitting on the toilet with me on top. No go. Too hard, so we went in my room and had amazing sex and smoked a joint. I wanted to have sex again, but he wanted to wait to see if I could go. He said, “Drink some coffee! Smoke a cigarette!” I love him and want to be GGG, but the pressure turned me off. (1) Is this my fault for bringing it up? (2) Was his pressuring me wrong? (3) How should I approach this situation without sounding like a bitch?
Pressured Over Observable Performance
1. You didn’t do anything wrong when you brought it up, POOP, and he didn’t do anything wrong when he got excited about the possibility of having his fantasy realized.
2. Yes. However excited your fiancé was about finally realizing his watch-my-girl-take-a-shit fantasy, he shouldn’t have pressured you to perform once it became clear that it wasn’t gonna happen. Shitting in front of someone — and here’s hoping that’s as far as his interest in poop goes — isn’t easy, POOP, and badgering you won’t help. Your fiancé, if he knows what’s good for him, will hang back, let you set the pace, and thank his lucky fucking stars that he found someone who is willing to even try and will get there eventually.
3. “I know you’re excited, honey, and it excites me to see you so excited. But dial it back a bit, okay? Next time I feel like I can give it a try, I will definitely let you know. But all of this pressure is making me feel constipated. And you don’t want that, right?”
I’m an 18-year-old male. After three years of silence, my ex-girlfriend texted me out of the blue. She was my first love, and part of my heart still aches for her. I feel like the smart thing to do is to stop talking to her right now, but my heart says if I keep at it, I might be able to win her back. Most of her messages sound flirtatious, but it could just be me being optimistic. She even said, “I don’t think of you as more than a friend. But I would be open to a relationship if I started having feelings for you again.” Is this a lost cause? Or do I need to give it more time and see how it develops?
Love And Memories Enflamed
Forgive me, LAME, for what I’m about to type.
You’re being used. Your ex-girlfriend sent that out-of-the-blue text because she wanted to feel wanted. Maybe she’s in the midst of a dry spell, or maybe she’s just selfish and cruel. But all she’s after here — most likely — are the ego boosts your texts provide. And to keep those boosts coming, LAME, she’s dangling a little false hope in front of you: She told you the truth so she wouldn’t have to admit to herself that she’s a manipulative liar and then tacked on some meaningless, impossible-to-disprove crap to keep you textin’.
You dated her three years ago … when you were 15. You’re not in love with her, LAME, you’re in love with the way she made you feel. There are other girls out there who can make you feel that way. Go find one.