Living Waters

Local Living Waters evangelists sure know how to package their pamphlets; among the hand-outs they force upon Ybor City sinners is the “Smart Card.” Like mood cards — the ones that tell you how you’re feeling based on the temperature of your thumb — the Smart Card instructs you to place your thumb firmly on its metallic box for 15 seconds. If you are a “good” person, the box will supposedly turn bright green. Of course, it never actually changes color. The message on the back (which you find after turning the card over in confusion) reads “Sorry … you’re just like the rest of us. The dictionary says ‘good’ is to be ‘morally excellent.’ Let’s check the standard — the Ten Commandments — to see how far we fall short.” A condensed version of the Ten Commandments follows for those who feel they need a pocket version to work out any day-to-day ethical dilemmas.

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