Blotter

The New Math: Twenty bucks sure buys a lot at the corner of 27th Avenue E. and 26th Street N. An undercover cop working vice in the area got a generous offer when he picked up a suspected prostitute and asked what he could get for $20. "All four," the woman replied. No word yet whether $15 gets you three, but she's in deep number two.

Can I Get A Refill? Reports of a drunk wandering around Pierce and Estelle streets turned out to be inaccurate. Upon arrival, the police found their man not wandering, but "sitting in a large pothole," missing a shoe and complaining of a lost jacket. The jacket appeared on an opposite corner, in the pocket an empty bottle of prescription muscle relaxers. "The suspect stated everything was fine until I came along," wrote the officer. "He was sitting in his home, in his chair, drinking coffee and was fine." That definitely sounds fine, and very relaxed.

Evil Stepfather Alert! Not good: You call the cops on your step-daughter in the hopes of getting her arrested, telling them she's an uncontrollable "black belt in karate" who hurt your finger while smashing your $200 cell phone. Bad: Your stepdaughter claims that you started the fight, and the whole thing is actually your fault. Worse: The cop has the same model cell phone as you do, and knows that "without the Bucs faceplate" it's only $50. The Pits: After a close examination, the cop observes "no injury to the finger or hand at all," and decides you are making the injury up.

Crime Doesn't Pay: When trying to select a business to rip off after hours, it's probably wise to avoid restaurants. Thieves found this out after smashing their way into an eatery on Hillsborough Avenue, only to make off with $30 - in change - left in the register. At least it was easy to split up the loot.

Punch Drunk: Cops responding to a reported battery were met with a startling lack of evidence when the victim, who claimed to have been knocked down and thrown out of a house, was too drunk to remember many key details of the event - like who else was involved or where the incident had taken place.

Bonus: Police pulled over two guys at Scott Street and Nebraska Avenue for violating the city's noise ordinance. As they approached the car, the cops clearly observed the passenger grab something out of the glove compartment and stick it in his pocket. After sweating and shaking under questioning, the passenger agreed to be searched, giving up his "two stones" and turning a routine traffic stop into a narcotics arrest. That's the thing about crack: It cramps a criminal's style.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Tampa Police Department.

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