BUSH PROPOSES $20 BILLION IN ARMS FOR SAUDIS, OTHERS
His rationale: What's the chance any of those "smart" bombs or other sophisticated weapons will fall into the wrong hands? (Pause) Plus we really, really, really need the money.
INGMAR BERGMAN, 1918-2007
Guess he lost the chess game.
FLORIDA'S BILLION-DOLLAR SHORTFALL
Special legislative session hopes to close the gap with a tricky combination of tax cuts for the wealthy, zero funding for health care and video poker machines in every state office.
AQUAFINA IS TAP WATER
Suuuurrre, and soylent green is people.
HILLSBOROUGH WETLANDS PROTECTION
Latest compromise plan would spare regulatory division in exchange for allowing developers to mitigate wetlands destruction with "ceee-ment ponds" engineered by Jethro Bodine.
SCIENTISTS BREED FIRST MENTALLY ILL MOUSE
Wait a second, aren't they forgetting Karl Rove?
TOM SNYDER, 1936-2007
If it weren't for Dan Aykroyd, we'd all be saying "Who??" right about now.
IRAQ WINS SOCCER'S ASIAN CUP
The nation's warring factions unite momentarily behind hooliganism.
ROMNEY, GIULIANI NIX ST. PETE YOUTUBE DEBATE
What if we promise no video questions from lesbians, snowmen or Alberto Gonzalez impersonators?
This article appears in Aug 1-7, 2007.