Seduction is an art — an art which can be studied, practiced, perfected, taught and sold. Ever since Neil Strauss infiltrated the budding internet community of pickup artists (PUAs) in his book, The Game, seduction methods and manuals have exploded in popularity. The basics of most are the same: suppress your fear of rejection and approach women with confidence. However, the specific tricks and tactics the various master PUAs employ often leave many guys feeling uncomfortable. Many men don't want to completely compromise their identity by performing magic tricks in a club or wearing clothes that look like they were borrowed from Lady Gaga's wardrobe just to attract attention.  For these men, Ofer Batt, MD and his business partner VJ wrote How to Succeed with Women Without Being Weird. Batt, a former physician, and VJ, who had a successful career in finance, present a straightforward business-minded approach to attracting women. Their 200-page book is a quick read with most of the information in bullet points. The advice is designed for men who are new to the seduction scene. The information is simple, solid, and geared toward the idea of presenting your best self. I spoke with Batt and VJ on exactly what separates their book from other dating advice manuals.

Shawn Alff: How important is it to become the alpha male, a person who leads the conversation and makes decisions?

Batt: I think it is the most important quality to be the leader and to lead the interactions with women. I hear it repeatedly from the girls I date. One woman told me she dumped a guy because

he asked what restaurant she wanted to go to and which movie she wanted to see. These are small things, but they showed her that he couldn't make decisions.

VJ: Our book gives practical advice on how to do this. When you ask a girl on a date, don't say, "Hey, maybe we could get together next Friday, or whatever." Say, "Let's meet up Friday at 8 o'clock."  You're taking the lead and expecting her to follow, which is critical in achieving success with women.

SA: What do you think about Ross Jeffries' "Speed Seduction," which employs a kind of hypnosis? Is it ethical? To a certain extent, isn’t learning to trigger attraction an art of manipulating the subconscious?

Batt: I don't know if it's unethical. I just know that it's weird.

VJ: Many of the decisions we make are subconscious.  The fact that we're all here shows that for millions of years our ancestors had sex without the benefit of intelligent minds. So a lot of the decisions a woman makes when it comes to attraction are subconscious. If you ask many women to articulate why they find someone attractive, they'll find this very difficult. We try to help men find the woman of their dreams. We don't pass judgment. We try to give them the skills and strength to find love. I don't think that is by any stretch of the imagination unethical.

SA: In the section of your book on style, you blatantly oppose the "peacocking theory" developed by Mystery which advocates wearing costumes to attract attention and set yourself apart; you claim this is a strategy that works well for guys in the performing arts, but not as well for regular guys. Do you think the trend of gaudy Ed Hardy clothes and glittery graphic t-shirts is a consequence of peacocking? Has there reached a tipping point where the men who don't wear loud clothes are the ones who stand out?

Batt: A girl I recently picked up told me that she gave me her phone number just because I wore a nice Hugo Boss shirt. I stood out in the club because I wasn't dressed weird. I think what you said is true. The normal person today becomes the peacock.

VJ: I think a mistake a lot of date coaches make is that they don't understand what aspects of their behavior attract women. Being bold, being aggressive, not caring what people think, these are things that attract women. Dressing weird, doing magic tricks — that isn't necessarily the part of their behavior that attracts women. Women find these things temporarily fascinating. We say dress like who you are, but put forward your best self.

SA: One of the side effects of analyzing dating strategies is that you start to look at all human interactions in terms of patterns and algorithms. Have you noticed that you have become more strategic in other aspects of your life?

Batt: Definitely. Our negotiation skills have improved immensely because every time you interact with a woman, it's a negotiation process. Also, a lot of our clients have told us that their work in the sales field has improved. Seduction is very similar to sales. You have to approach a person you don't know, develop an interaction, and at the end of the day you have to make the sell. In this case you are selling yourself.

SA: The book lists several strategies for combating last-minute resistance when it comes to getting a woman's phone number. Why bother pushing for a number if she is resistant?

VJ: Sometimes women give token resistance. They want you to take the lead. If the resistance appears like token resistance, you can overcome that. I have successfully dated women who initially showed a little bit of resistance. But you must also be able to recognize and accept rejection. Being able to handle rejection is a huge part of having success with women.

SA: Every pickup guide I’ve read suggests dating tactics for big cities like LA or New York, where the dating pool is endless. If the reader lives in a small town, the manual advises that he move to a bigger city. However, this isn't an option for some men who live in towns where being repeatedly rejected at a popular bar may hold social repercussions and lower the man's level of attraction. Do you have any recommendations for guys who want to be successful dating women in  smaller cities?

VJ: The truth is, you got to take a chance. It's better to step up to the plate and strike out, to look like more of a man, than to never take a chance at all. In a city like LA, you can hit on every girl you see, and you may never see any of them again. That may be a little more of a strain in a smaller town, but if I see a girl I like I have to talk to her, because opportunity never knocks twice. If I approach her in a socially appropriate way, and I'm nice, even if she rejects me, I shouldn't feel bad about it. All I did was walk up to a girl and talk to her. There's nothing wrong with that. Maybe in a smaller town, you have to be less aggressive but still take a chance. All you're doing is talking to her. A lot of times guys find excuses not to talk to women. The real social consequences for them for not talking to the girl, is usually pretty small.

SA: The book advocates keeping the conversation light, asking things like, "What do you study." However, I recently read the book Click: the Magic of Instant Connections, which stresses the importance of asking intimate questions in order to form quick set intimacies. What do you think about this strategy?

Batt: How intimate your conversation is should be based on comfort. Initially when you meet a woman if you start asking personal or intimate questions, it will just creep her out. We recommend keeping the conversation light. After you speak for a few hours, then you can start asking her about her family, her aspirations. But, if you ask these things during the initial interaction, you will just sound creepy.

VJ: You have to keep the conversation a little flirty and fun. You have to show her that you're interested. It's not just talking about her philosophy on life. Save the deep conversation for when you're on a date.

SA: I spend a lot of time in bars and strip clubs for my work "flirting" with attractive bartenders and dancers. However these women are extremely difficult to connect with on a personal level as their jobs entails flirting with men as a way of getting to their wallets. How do you break through to these women on a personal level?

Batt: The best strategy is to show less interest, because they're accustomed to so much attention from clients. And don't pay for a lap dance, because then you condition the relationship in terms of a money exchange. But honestly the chances are very low when she is in her workspace. When a bartender is behind the bar, her guard is up and there's not much you can do to get past it.

VJ: I've gone out with a couple of strippers and the trick about meeting a girl like that is when you're talking to her, take her out of the bar mentally. Don't talk about how it is to be a bartender or how it is to be a stripper. Talk about her life outside of her job. However, our book doesn't suggest that the best place to find women is at bars or strip clubs. In these places there is so much competition and the women have their guards up. Walking down the street, going to a coffee shop, going to a shopping mall, you can meet a lot more women in less time, and spend a lot less money. If you approach 20 bartenders, you may get one or two of them. If you approach a woman on the street, it's so much easier to find an equally beautiful woman who is much more likely to go out with you and to have a normal personal life.

Buy How to Succeed with Women Without Being Weird and check out more information about their date coaching program at hollywoodwingmen.com

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This article appears in Oct 28 – Nov 3, 2010.