What Charlie Could Say To Win Back Voters
Dear Fellow Floridian:
As the people’s governor, I’ve been very busy. Not busy being governor, but being busy running around the state of Florida – a beautiful state full of nice people who own homes that aren’t worth half of what they paid for them – running for the U.S. Senate.
Let me tell you, running for the senate is a full-time job and this fella’ Rubio is on my heels.
So when the newspapers report about how I’ve taken the equivalent of ten weeks (50 days) off, I say “hogwash.” I want to be the people’s senator and that’s what the people want me to do – I know because my pollster told me so. And mind you, facts and records like those about how much time off I’ve taken are important things but the liberal media has it out for me. Plus (what the liberal media doesn’t tell you) a lot of those days I was off I was actually working on my tan which is good for Florida in two ways. First, it benefits tourism by sending a message of “come to Florida and get a tan like me” and second it benefits the economy because tanning booth use helps power companies. So while this letter is all about apologizing for my lack of leadership, in this case I deserve a pat on the back.
This article appears in Oct 22-28, 2009.