Perhaps you are one of those people who find themselves so overcome with the joyous holiday gift-giving spirit that at some point amid the joyousness of it all you turn to your loved ones and say joyously, "Look, how about if I just give each of you a big wad of cash this year?"

You sloth. Go to the bookstore. In one stop, you can take care of your entire shopping list. And I guarantee you there's a book to suit your weirdest family member or friend.

For example, say you've got a friend who's a writing nerd or a literary snob or some other derivative of a geeky English major. I recommend Insulting English by Peter Novobatzky and Ammon Shea (St. Martin's, $17.95). It's a dictionary of things you can call people that are really insulting but that make you sound like a person of refined intellect. I used it the other day, for example, to tell my landlord he was looking simply infandous (odious). Unless your friend is rectopathic and you think giving them a book so petulcit would make you look like a snollygoster, this is the one to get.

Or what about that business wonk in your life? Maybe you were thinking Jack: From the Gut, the book for which former G.E. head Jack Welch was famously paid a gazillion dollars but which, according to unanimous reports, is a turkey. Try, instead, Every Mistake in the Book by F.J. Lennon (HarperCollins, $23), which the publisher calls "A Business How-Not-To" book. It's an often-hysterical guide to starting and running a business by a guy who had his ups and downs as an entrepreneur — but kept a journal! If Jack Welch had read this book, he might not have had all those problems toward the end at G.E. …

Got a history lover on your list? Silent Night by Stanley Weintraub (Free Press, $25) tells one of history's strangest and most haunting tales: In Flanders on Christmas Eve, 1914, in the midst of the first, incredibly bloody stages of World War I, soldiers on both sides of the line spontaneously defied orders, put down their guns and crawled out of their trenches to drink together, sing carols, put up Christmas trees, share food and play soccer.

Or maybe you've got an art fiend to take care of. Try Becoming Mona Lisa by Donald Sassoon (Harcourt, $30), which traces how Leonardo daVinci's painting became so famous it's now an icon. (Remember when Monica Lewinsky appeared as Mona on the cover of The New Yorker?)

Music nut? Consider Temperament by Stuart Isacoff (Knopf, $23). It's about the greatest breakthrough in musical history — when, in the 18th century, a musical scale was developed wherein the notes were pitched equidistant from each other. Before that, various instruments played various scales on various days. It was a mess, and this is a fascinating book.

Movie maniac? How about a book that looks at American films made somewhere other than Los Angeles? Can you do that? Yes, and Celluloid Skyline: New York and the Movies by James Sanders (Knopf, $45) does it well. It's an inventive history that includes some interesting criticism with great photos of everything from 42nd Street to Breakfast at Tiffany's to Do the Right Thing and on.

Got a kid to take care of? You're no doubt thinking Harry Potter or some merchandising derivative thereof. But why not dare to be different — think classic. One of my favorite books of the year was a reissue of the 1842 Jack the Giant Killer by Richard Doyle, from the Everyman's Library Children's Classic series ($14). In Doyle's hands, it's a wonderful adventure tale, lavishly illustrated in full color.

Finally, for that ultimate weirdo on your list — the one who just likes to read a good novel — try another Everyman's Library classic, adult version: Zeno's Conscience by Italo Svevo ($20). This is the first new translation in 70 years of this little-known novel that was discovered by James Joyce while on a trip to Italy. One of the first novels about psychotherapy, it's a hilarious tale about a man trying to beat his vices, starting with one last cigarette.

And that's merely the tip of the iceberg. The trick is to skip the big display of books just inside the door of the superstore (i.e., the books the store wants you to buy because they've got another hundred thousand copies in the back). Keep going into the heart of the place, and you'll find a lot of odd and unusual books that will never be in those displays, but that are much more interesting than most of the books that are.

Read Dennis Loy Johnson's weekly column MobyLives at www.mobylives.com.

This article appears in Dec 20-26, 2002.