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ITEMS UP FOR BID WEEK FOUR:
Custom parody rap by Big Cheese — written about you! In 2009, Big Cheese (aka Jakeem Johnson, from Tampa) went viral with his Plies parody, “Gimme Dat Bacon.” Recently, he’s tackled Juicy J with his “Grands A Make Her Dance,” a loving ode to biscuits in a tube. What’s your junk food fetish? Maybe Big Cheese will write about it in the style of 2 Chainz? One thing’s for sure, his new tune about you will be funnier than you ever were. Value: Priceless.
Improv classes and a show by American Stage’s Hawk & Wayne Have you ever watched the performers on Whose Line Is It Anyway? and thought, “Gawd, that looks fun. I’d like to try that someday!” Well, here’s your chance. Best of the Bay-winning improv duo Hawk & Wayne are donating a voucher for a 10-session improv class at American Stage, plus a pair of free tickets to their monthly workplace comedy show, It’s A Living. Value: $260.
Buy the cover of CL The most coveted prize of all. Win this item and you get the cover of Creative Loafing on a mutually agreed-upon date to do with what you will (with CL approval, of course). Value: Priceless.
Wine lovers’ windfall from Duckweed and Ybor City Wine Bar It’s an oenophile’s delight: A case of wine from Downtown Tampa’s Duckweed Urban Market & Grocery Store ($150) and a “Flights for Four” private wine tasting ($100) at Ybor City Wine Bar. Value: $250.
Two PBR’s a week for a year from The Hub ’Nuff said. Value: $400.
Every advance movie screening in 2014 The winner gets first dibs on every Tampa Bay area movie preview in 2014 that Creative Loafing gets passes for. That means you’ll see a total of at least 75 movies for free before everyone else. Start bragging now. Value: $750+.
Vinyl shopping spree with the CL music editor Leilani Polk takes you to five indie shops around the Bay area: Microgroove and Mojo Books & Music in Tampa; Daddy Kool, Bananas, and Planet Retro in St. Petersburg. Your winning bid gets you two LPs from each for a grand total of 10 records, and Leilani offers counsel throughout. Value: $250.
Your own personal WAD District trolley tour Trolley tours of St. Pete’s Warehouse Arts District are a major attraction during the city’s Second Saturday Art Walks. Now you and 29 of your closest friends can have a trolley tour all to yourselves, featuring stops at five galleries and a finale at Duncan McClellan Gallery’s Hot Shop, where you, as the host, will get to take home a glass vessel created before your eyes. Value: $750.
Trashy Treasures & Dunedin Fine Art Center family membership A family membership to the Dunedin Fine Art Center promises all kinds of enrichment, plus with this item you get four admissions to DFAC’s Trashy Treasures, Tampa Bay’s most beloved art garage sale, and Contain It!, truly the most fun you can ever have inside a POD. Value: $100.
Three-day juice cleanse from Squeeze Juice Works A three-day cleanse consisting of five pints per day of nutrient-rich fruit and veggie juices tailored to your taste preferences from Best of the Bay-winning Squeeze Juice Works, now located off Fourth Street on 30th Avenue N. in St. Pete. Value: $140.
City Bike rentals for 4, plus a stop at Cafe Dufrain/Cry Baby Cafe See Downtown Tampa on two wheels with a gift certificate from City Bike Tampa ($172) for a day of bike rentals for four, and use your $50 gift card for a bike break at either Cafe Dufrain on Harbour Island or its newly opened sister establishment, the Cry Baby Café. Value: $252.
Beautiful baskets from Cleanse Apothecary and Aveda plus a big Massage Envy bonus A sampling of $200 worth of Aveda hair and skin products, plus a $50 gift card for use at the Aveda Master Studio in St Petersburg ($250); a gift basket from Seminole Heights’ Cleanse Apothecary featuring soaps, bath salts, milk bath and more ($175); and two gift cards ($78 apiece) from Massage Envy, one each for its South Tampa and St. Pete (Fourth Street N.) locations. Value: $581.
SavvyCard Pro package SavvyCard is an innovative and flexible mobile Web platform designed for networking and sharing information on the go. This package includes a full visual customization, concierge setup services, and hands-on training to help the recipient get the most out of this new technology. Value: $249.
Schwarzkopf Sporting Clays foursome Pull the trigger on this auction item and help support a good cause. The winner of this auction gets a slot for a foursome of shooters in the 20th Anniversary General H. Norman Schwarzkopf Memorial Sporting Clays Classic. The event benefits The Children’s Home, and takes place on March 29, 2014 at Tampa Bay Sporting Clays. Value: $600.
CL editors’ swag bag The editors of Creative Loafing get lots of cool stuff, and now a whole barrelful of it can be yours, from a deluxe Mortal Instruments book set to an Indiana Jones-style whip to a Matt Garza bobblehead from when he was still a Tampa Bay Ray! All this and lots, lots more. Value: Priceless.
Folk dolls from Feathered Serpent & gift certificate from Sherry’s Yesterdaze A pair of handmade dolls from abroad ($45 each) donated by Feathered Serpent in St. Petersburg, and a $50 gift certificate from Sherry’s Yesterdaze Vintage Clothing & Antiques in Seminole Heights. Value: $140.
Sonos Play:1 Wireless Speaker A compact, flexible wireless speaker that will deliver crystal-clear sound anywhere you place it. An indispensable gift for the music lover from Rick’s Home Theatre Store in St. Petersburg. Value: $199.
Miller Lite Party Deck pass for Bucs vs. 49ers on Dec. 15 A pass for two people to see the Bucs/49ers game from the exclusive and always-festive Miller Lite Party Deck area. Includes three Miller Lites per person and $10 food credit per person. Value: $300.
Custom-painted wakeboard from the Red Bull Wake Open 2012 Painted by Jacqueline Ann Frierman for the Wake Art Project, this board — entitled “If Elephants Grew on Trees” — was the Creative Loafing People’s Choice award winner as voted by the crowd at the Red Bull Wake Open two years ago. The winning bidder also gets two cases of Red Bull. Value: $750.
Wellness exam for one dog or cat from Bayshore Animal Clinic Make sure Fido and Fifi are at their best. The exam includes a medical examination; applicable vaccinations; a fecal parasite exam; a heartworm test (for dog); a feline leukemia/FIV test (for cat, if needed); and a six-month supply of flea and heartworm prevention. Value: $375.
Rowdies Fan-ny Pack Here’s to a Tampa Bay “football” team that doesn’t lose every single game. Cheer on the Tampa Bay Rowdies with a friend at a game next season in really sweet seats and get a signed ball. It’s high time you joined Ralph’s Mob! Value: $100.
Clearwater Aquarium family membership & a photo with Winter the dolphin Get a family membership to Clearwater Marine Aquarium and reserve your spot for a photo session with the world’s most famous aquatic mammal movie star, Dolphin Tale’s Winter. Value: $99.