Concerned neighbor mistakes my active social life for prostitution

Now don't get me wrong. I have nothing against hookers, except the ones who knowingly spread STDs. What you do with your body is your business. What I do have a problem with is neighbors telling my landlord that I'm operating a one-woman whorehouse.

Do men with colored porch lights and multiple sex partners get reported for being prostitutes? It doesn't matter. What matters is that we women need to stop being so sloppy about our whoring. It's not just the street-walkers hanging out at bus stops who are getting busted. Now, if a man pays for your dinner and you have sex with him afterward, you may get evicted from your apartment for exchanging goods for sex.

Single women beware! If you date multiple men at once, and have a preference for Xmas lights, concerned St. Pete neighbors may accuse you of being a hooker.

That's exactly what happened to me when a tenant in my apartment complex reported "a lot of traffic" through my place and a red porch light to my landlord as evidence that I'm operating a brothel. Nice, a leftover Xmas light and a “suspiciously active" social life suddenly make me a hooker. What is this, 1693? Am I going to be fried at the stake after being repeatedly violated by righteous accusers interested in saving my soul? Or maybe I'll have a Scarlet A branded on my chest, like a sign advertising some guilt-free groping by morally superior neighbors.

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