25.5-0. With the point spread, that was Detroit’s lead over the Bucs in the first quarter of Sunday’s game. And yours truly was feeling like the smartest guy in the world for having taken the Lions in his pick 'em league, as if I'd asked out a girl I was supposed to have no chance with and scored.
By halftime, I wasn’t so smart.
True, Detroit still held a four-and-a-half-point advantage with the spread, but I knew that wouldn’t last long. And it didn’t.
The Lions didn’t merely implode. They got sucked into a black hole of incompetence from which nothing positive could escape. The final score of 38-20 doesn’t do the collapse justice. But having seen the game with my own eyes, I now understand why that team is 0-11 and well on its way to 0-16. And I honestly don’t know how head coach Rod Marinelli keeps his job by season's end. To be honest, I don’t know how any of the coaches or players keep their jobs — if ever a team needed an enema, it’s the Detroit Lions. Take it from one player quoted in the Detroit Free Press after the game:
"I don't think we know how to deal with the lead," defensive tackle Shaun Cody said. "Obviously it showed. One thing goes bad, and I think guys start thinking, 'Oh, no. Here we go again.' You kind of get that feeling.
Lord, give me the strength to lay off the Lions and the points for the rest of the season.
Headline I wish I could have used (but might have been too obscure): “Hello, Sheba neighba” (for Brian Ries’ review of Abol Bunna). Make-believe bonus points for anyone who gets the reference.
Word that doesn’t get used nearly enough: Skeevy. It means exactly what it sounds and looks like. Just typing it makes me want to take a hot shower.
