The universe is full of mysteries. What is the meaning of life? How vast is the universe? Where did we come from? Add to that list of perplexities a mystery that’s been haunting me my entire gay life. What the fuck is a “bubble butt”?
It is interesting to note the wordage applied when merchandise is marketed to its target audience. While it might take a “snap crackle pop” to sell cereal it apparently takes a “nice firm bubble butt” to sell the idea that someone has an alluring physique. The laughability of the phrase itself aside, I’ve been trying for nearly 20 years to understand what exactly this elusive “bubble butt” is?
I’ve known many a man try to lure and trap me with his bubbles of steel and from a rear end view none of these men’s rumps were remotely similar. One was saggy and one was flat. One was bony and one was fat. They all claimed they had bubble butts. Would the real bubble butt please step forward?
In my adult life, I am enlightened to most things concerning gay sex. For better or worse when I hear the terms BB, raw, fisting, PNP, top, bottom, vers, sub, or dom I know exactly what is being alluded to. When I hear a guy I’m about to meet has a “hot bubble butt” your guess is as good as mine.
The universal mystery remains. To this day I have asked many gay friends and each has a different answer. Does God exist? What is justice? And does anyone know what the fuck a bubble butt really is?
This article appears in Dec 2-8, 2010.