From the fans
There was a letter in your column recently that must have been painful for you to receive. I refer to the letter signed God Hates You (CL, Aug. 26). I'm sure you're no stranger to hate mail, being an openly gay sex-advice columnist, but I hope you get fan mail too. But just in case: I wanted you to know that your column means a lot to me, and I love your bluntness, openness, and honesty. It is comforting to see a pragmatic, funny, and, for the most part, compassionate voice in print nowadays, especially when it comes to something that so many are as willfully ignorant about as sex.
You Do Good Work
A lot of people wrote in after reading GHY's letter. Most wanted to reassure me that God does not, in fact, hate me. And most, like YDGW here, assumed that GHY's letter must have hurt my feelings. I want to thank everyone for your kind words — and I mean that sincerely — but someone telling me that God hates me is about as hurtful as someone telling me that the Blue Fairy thinks I look fat in these jeans.
As for fan mail, YDGW, I get my fair share. But I don't typically run fan letters because I've found better ways to pleasure myself. I am, however, going to make an exception this week and run a few letters from satisfied Savage Love customers. Not because I like having sunshine blown up my ass, but because we know GHY is out there reading, and I'm thinking letters from people who've found my advice useful will annoy him way more than letters from people who wanted to let me know that God loves me. So this one's for you, GHY ...
I am a 21-year-old straight girl, and I wanted to thank you. Reading your column and listening to your podcast over the years has made my sex and love life so much better than it ever could have been without your fantastic advice. It gave me the courage to tell my partner about my interest in BDSM and to be really GGG when he shared his fantasies with me. I've recommended your column and podcast to friends having relationship and sex troubles, and they all come back to tell me how much your advice helped them. I wanted to thank you on behalf of shy girls everywhere who secretly want to be tied up and spanked.
Eternally Grateful
I had been reading your column for years, and each time you told someone to DTMFA — dump the motherfucker already! — I wondered why the people sending those sad letters needed your advice at all. Couldn't they see that they were miserable? Then one day I had an epiphany and realized, while reading your column, that I could have authored one of those DTMFA letters.
It's now three years since I dumped the motherfucker. I got a transfer within my company and started over in a new city. It was overwhelming. But this weekend, I was lying in bed with my new boyfriend and I was thinking about my life. It is so NICE to have someone who isn't horrified that I like porn, someone who listens to my fantasies and likes to try new things. Someone who appreciates my cooking, doesn't pout when I beat him at video games, and tells me I'm beautiful.
I want to thank you. I was in denial, and your column was my wake-up call. I'm happier now than I ever thought possible.
Content Lady In Toronto
Thank you for saying some kind words about "conveniently located and economically priced sex workers" in your column. I agree that they deserve more gratitude and respect. In my case, I am a successful, decent-looking professional and a widower with three kids. I don't have any trouble getting dates. However, in my experience, dates either turn into relationships that I don't have time for or long conversations that I don't have time for about how I don't have time for a relationship. So once every couple months or so, I see a professional. I don't have to feel bad that I may not see her again, and I don't get accused of misleading anyone. I would like to tell your readers that they shouldn't feel bad if they are seeing pros. They should enjoy it for what it is, which is a great time with a pretty girl and well worth the money.
Prefers Sex Workers
You're welcome, one and all. Next week, back to the screaming, yelling, recriminations, freaks, fetishes, and fuckwits.
