C'mon in, the making fun of yesterday's news is fine.
A Duke Energy power outage yesterday that caused 4,000-5,000 St. Pete residents to lose electricity in the heat of a July afternoon also knocked out multiple traffic lights in the area, reminding local motorists that they have no fucking idea how to navigate a four-way-stop intersection. Also, isn't providing electricity in exchange for money, like, the main thing Duke is supposed to do?
Some complete garbage person left a crate containing five puppies and two adult dogs by the side of the road in Hillsborough County. I can't help but wonder if the complete garbage person in question is responsible for the welfare of any human children. Remember in that movie, when Mary Poppins sang that jaunty song about how when things get hard, just abandon your responsibilities by the side of the road?
Local cops are singing the praises of the Neighbors app, a sort of localized mini-social media network that connects to a "smart" (read: internet-connected) doorbell/security system and helped authorities bust a serial porch pirate and burglar in Tampa. "It almost makes it worth wading through all the posts about seeing African-Americans walking through the neighborhood," they didn't say, but, well, you know.
And finally, a Tampa Paralympic athlete and gold medalist is up for an ESPY, and you can vote for him before tonight's broadcast of the awards program. Be a dear and do that, won't you?