Eli bests Brady

Super Bowl, Super Tuesday and Ann Coulter

Super Bowl ads
OK, we loooooved the severed-horse-head spoof, but the giant mouse kicking the Doritos-eating dude's ass wins the night.

Coulter: "I'll vote for Hillary if McCain wins"
Suddenly we picture Ann with a knife clenched between her teeth, on a patrol boat about 75 clicks above the Do Lung bridge, looking for McCain.

Manning wins Super Bowl
(This item contains 100 percent recycled material from last year's Short List.)

Super Tuesday
Vote-counting temporarily halted after "Cable Newscasters Who Insist it Is Called Tsunami Tuesday" group files a federal lawsuit.

QB Brady not perfect
Eli may have won the MVP, but Tom went home to Giselle Bundchen. Scoreboard.

Microsoft makes bid for Yahoo
Tender offer lists Microsoft's desire to acquire "a really annoying yodel-like advertising jingle."

Joan Baez endorses Obama
Watch out, Barack: if you jilt her, she'll write an acerbic hit song about you.

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