We were very lucky to get into Caliente because normally, for some impenetrable reason, single males aren’t allowed access. But our friend Tricia here at Creative Loafing finagled us a pass, provided that we stayed on our best behavior and didn’t write too much about the old people that frequent the place. In the spirit of this bargain, the next line will be the only one dedicated to the naked elderly, and we will do it free-association style, rapid-fire typing the first words and images that come to mind.
Ok, here goes—1,2,3:
flapjack fertile crescent papal cranberry dangle anemone Angela Lansbury limpid daughters of the revolution mashed potato cake
Now that that’s done with, we can tell you what an incredible place Caliente is. This place is classier than the Queen of England. The only difference is that the Queen is clothed (fortunately), and Caliente is naked. All naked, all the time. Naked piano bar. Naked sports bar. Naked tiki bar. A fancy naked restaurant. Naked volleyball—AKA “Nolleyball.†Nilliards. Noosball. Neightlifting. Naerobics. Netanque (that’s “naked petanque†for all you Philistines). Not to mention nwimming, known in the common parlance as “skinny dipping,†which is the only required nudity at the whole place—no swimsuits allowed in the expansive main pool, either of the two smaller “conversation pools,†the hot tub, or in the grotto under the waterfall.
Not to mention naked karaoke in the SÃ Como No tiki bar where against all protestations Ted decided to--well, why don't we just leave that to your imaginations for a spell...
...to be continued...
