Extra, extra! The interns get naked!

Share on Nextdoor

We were very lucky to get into Caliente because normally, for some impenetrable reason, single males aren’t allowed access. But our friend Tricia here at Creative Loafing finagled us a pass, provided that we stayed on our best behavior and didn’t write too much about the old people that frequent the place. In the spirit of this bargain, the next line will be the only one dedicated to the naked elderly, and we will do it free-association style, rapid-fire typing the first words and images that come to mind.

Ok, here goes—1,2,3:

flapjack fertile crescent papal cranberry dangle anemone Angela Lansbury limpid daughters of the revolution mashed potato cake

Now that that’s done with, we can tell you what an incredible place Caliente is. This place is classier than the Queen of England. The only difference is that the Queen is clothed (fortunately), and Caliente is naked. All naked, all the time. Naked piano bar. Naked sports bar. Naked tiki bar. A fancy naked restaurant. Naked volleyball—AKA “Nolleyball.” Nilliards. Noosball. Neightlifting. Naerobics. Netanque (that’s “naked petanque” for all you Philistines). Not to mention nwimming, known in the common parlance as “skinny dipping,” which is the only required nudity at the whole place—no swimsuits allowed in the expansive main pool, either of the two smaller “conversation pools,” the hot tub, or in the grotto under the waterfall.

Not to mention naked karaoke in the Sí Como No tiki bar where against all protestations Ted decided to--well, why don't we just leave that to your imaginations for a spell...

...to be continued...

What: Get naked.

Where: Caliente Resort, 21240 Gran Via Blvd., Land O’ Lakes

Must-Do? Says Who? 700 naturists can’t be wrong!

Casualties: $21 for dinner; $33 for poolside drinks, although some people may need much more than that to take all their clothes off.

Notable Quotable: “Brian and Ted: Terra is letting you men in. So—I did promise them you will not get drunk and misbehave. SO, PLEASE, DON'T. Please don't make me define best behavior. I will be watching you......” - Tricia

On Sunday, July 22, 2007, Brian Howard Reed and Ted Knuth Scheinman visited Caliente, a “clothing optional resort.”

And in case you were wondering, we opted out of our clothes.

Scroll to read more News Feature articles


Join Creative Loafing Tampa Bay Newsletters

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.