Toward the end of the night, it was hard to tell a rock from a manatee. The sleeping sea cow was resting next to the glass in the underground aquarium at the Lowry Park Zoo. To casual passersby — particularly casual passersby who'd had a few drinks — she looked for all the world like a big gray boulder. So, when the manatee rose to the surface to take in some air, partygoers reacted to the unexpected movement with tipsy, Keanu-like wonder: "Whoahh."

As far as odd moments in Florida go, it was up there: wandering down a darkened passageway in a zoo at night, watching a manatee through thick glass with a bunch of drunks, cradling a plastic cup of beer and a contraband bottle of Italian wine.

For a girl three weeks removed from a former life in Texas, there probably was no better introduction to the vagaries of the Bay area culinary scene than a visit to Zoofari, the annual tasting fundraiser that drew 4,000 people out into the newly crisp fall weather for a chance to eat, drink and run around stupid at the zoo at night. I absolutely loved it. With nearly 80 restaurants participating in the 18th annual event, there were way too many booths for even me to sample — and I eat for a living.

You see, I'm aiming to be the Carrie Bradshaw of the Big Guava culinary scene — except I've got worse outfits and a nascent beer gut, and there's definitely no Mr. Big. Each week, I'll be cooking, eating, drinking, sniffing, feeling and talking my way through the Bay area in this very column. A veritable stew of off-the-wall food stories, "All You Can Eat" will be my foray, and yours, into Florida grub. And what better event for me to start out with than Zoofari, an all-you-can-eat sampler?

For those of you who have never been to a tasting event before, let me clue you in. You wend your way from table to table, finding the lines that look long (popular, their food must be good!), you clutch your plastic fork in the fear that your next stop might not have utensils, and you gorge yourself silly, eating off disposable plates while standing up, juggling a plastic cup of hops, and, in my case, a notebook.

As foodfests go, Zoofari ran the usual gamut, from local independents with distinctive dishes to megachains bribing the lines with huge chunks of steak. Here's my take on the tasting highs and lows:

St. Pete Beach's Hurricane secured a place in my heart with their Sunset Grouper, a delicate banana-leaf package of moist grouper and mango jasmine rice splashed with Thai chili sauce and accented with julienned carrot and cucumber. The historic Columbia Restaurant of Tampa offered up a paella that was spectacular to look at, if not exceptional to consume. Chewy mussels and dry chicken shared the spotlight with peas, white asparagus, scallops and other ingredients on a bed of predictable rice. Nice, but not outstanding.

Local sweethearts Frenchy's of Clearwater ladled out buckets of their justifiably famous She-Crab Soup and Seafood Gumbo, just as they had the night before at St. Petersburg's Battle of the Bay culinary competition. Splash! of Lutz, winner of a 2003 Best of the Bay title for best seafood, proved its metaphorical chops with a stunning spring pea and bacon risotto, adorned with a single, delightfully crisp-tender shrimp. The creaminess of the risotto was a perfect foil to the firm green peas and nuggets of dense bacon — a testament to the power of a simple dish.

Ashley Street Grill added a touch of luxe with tuna sashimi. The raw tuna was crusted in sesame and peppercorn, then seared — a winning combination of textures. University Community Hospital passed small cups of melted pumpkin ice cream, with an unexpected bite of ouzo. The combination was superb. Signature Room Grill won major points with simple offerings: prosciutto-wrapped mozzarella, thrown on the grill for a few moments until the cheese melted and the thick-cut ham crisped.

Local Mexican restaurant Miguel's disappointed with a nondescript chicken taco, which I washed down (unfortunately) with B-to-the-E Budweiser, the most foul of all quasi-beer beverages to hit the market recently. An energy drink mixed with beer, BE tasted like a Red Bull curdled with Bud Light and Sprite. Please, please, head honchos at Anheuser-Busch, do not distribute this monstrosity, and stop calling it beer. Pour it all out (none for your homies!) and go sit in a closet somewhere and think about what you've done.

Ultimately, Zoofari was owned by the chains — locally based or not — that sell familiar food of a certain caliber in strip malls across the country. And oh, how we lined up for it.

Longhorn Steakhouse was generous with their sliced beef and mashers, but the East Coast chain's unexceptional fare wouldn't last too long in the Lone Star State. I'm guessing this is why they haven't expanded to Tejas. Far better steak was served up by Tampa-based Outback, whose parent corporation was out representing with the ever-popular Carrabba's Italian Grill, Lee Roy Selmon's and Bonefish Grill.

While in line for Bonefish, I caught the eyes of the chickens sequestered in the petting zoo — a not particularly comforting reminder that we were eating a heck of a lot of meat in a place meant to protect animals. Still, that didn't stop me from enjoying Bonefish's macadamia-nut dusted mahi mahi and the signature Bang Bang shrimp — each dish an explanation for the restaurant's popularity.

Florida-chain Shells offered up a lobster bisque and a zesty crab dip virtually indistinguishable from one another in the evening light — save that the dip was adorned with a reverently fried chip, and the zesty crab dip was more … zesty.

The Bamboo Club, a chain based in my hometown of Phoenix, did little to make me nostalgic. The Mandarin orange chicken, a gloppy orange sauce over fried chicken nuggets, tasted like food-court fare, as did the teeny-tiny "Thai" spicy shrimp. Both went straight to the trash.

My final pronouncement? I enjoyed Zoofari for what it was: an introduction. Rest assured I won't stop here. Tampa, St. Pete and Clearwater have lots for a girl like me: hole-in-the-wall dives, ethnic groceries and Floribbean ingredients just begging me to take a taste. You can bet I'll bring my notebook.

FEEDback: Any suggestions for great Mexican food in town? Know about food events, openings, closing or industry gossip? Send the buzz to the following address: food@weeklyplanet.com.

This article appears in Nov 17-23, 2004.