If you believe that Osama's been getting a bad rap for that little 9-11
dust-up five yrs ago, here are your candidates (the ones endorsed by the
people who think the feds set up the whole thing): Bob Bowman (D) for state
House district 15 (Jacksonville), Samm Simpson (D) for state House district
10 (Taylor, Madison, Dixie, and surrounding counties), and Brian Moore (I)
for U.S. Senate.
[911truth.org] (all national candidates' names along the right rail)

CORRECTION:  Bowman and Simpson are U.S. House candidates, not state House
candidates, and the 15th and 10th U.S. House districts represent
respectively, Brevard-Osceola-Indian River counties and Pinellas County
(minus part of St. Pete and the county's northeastern corner).

Law Enforcement Priorities in Winter Haven

On October 11, the police chief issued a memo encouraging his 80 officers to
get trim and fit. (They're never physically tested once they're accepted
onto the force.) A few officers said they felt like the chief was implying
rampant donut-munching. As we all know, feelings are what's really important
for police officers. Last week, the chief was asked to resign and did, and
this week it's a national story, courtesy of the Associated Press.
[Orlando Sentinel]

Killer Bees Buzz Their Way Up the Coast

A UF entomologist made it official: Killer bees have arrived in Indian River
County, meaning Brevard is next. They started in Miami-Dade, then Broward,
and they're also in Martin and St. Lucie. Uh, what about the county in
between . . . Palm Beach? That could've been a sure-fire campaign hook
("Foley: He Kept the Killer Bees Away!")
[TCPalm.com]

Floridians with Worse Sex Lives Than You

Hector Garcia was arrested in Cape Coral last weekend after allegedly being
caught in the act after drilling peepholes in a dressing-room wall at the
Old Navy store at Page Field Commons.
[WBBH-TV (Fort Myers)]

Your Daily Loser

A so-far-unidentified man was found dead just off Biscayne Blvd. in Miami
yesterday morning, wearing only socks and underwear and lying under an SUV.
After interviewing neighbors, police believe that he might have attempted to
break into one of the swanky houses nearby but that a rottweiler suddenly
appeared, provoking him to flee and find a nice, safe SUV to crawl under
(where he continued to drink from the bottle that he was carrying).
[Miami Herald]

Other Things to Worry About Today

A landscaper in Davie told a reporter he's thinking of suing after his
client's "kangaroo" attacked him and wrestled him to the ground (but the
client said it was just his wallaby) [WTVJ-TV (Miami)] . . . . . A lawsuit
in Palm City says Diana Eastman encouraged her kid to whip another kid badly
("Don't stop," she supposedly said. "Beat that kid's ass.") [TCPalm.com] . .
. . . Street performer Michael Anthony Patrick, in a straightjacket, jumped
off a pier in Key West as a tribute to Houdini, and rescue workers searched
the water for hours (seriously; they did), but of course, he tricked
everybody! Duh! Hou-dini!  Get it? [WPLG-TV (Miami)] . . . . . If you
sell lottery tickets at the corner store, you first have to pass a state
criminal background check; if your job is to set up or fix voting machines, no problem!
[St. Petersburg Times].

This article appears in Nov 1-7, 2006.