Florida's Premier Performance Artist: K-Hay

The Washington Post yesterday brought us up to date on the Katherine Harris campaign ("in rigor mortis") and revealed the startling news that K-Hay is keeping a diary of all the (probably thousands of) slights she has received this year and will put them into a book. (Yeah, sure, that'll be a big sell Ñ oh, wait, I forgot; Ann Coulter's a best-seller.) Yr Editor says there's only one reasonable conclusion to draw from her relentlessness and good cheer in the face of political hopelessness: It's all a joke. She is the F State's Borat. The gal's an exceptionally clever theatrical talent, and we're falling for it.
[Washington Post]

Great News for This Blog!
The state Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission is considering relaxing the restriction on a homeowner when a wild alligator wanders onto his property. Currently, the private citizen is required to call a professional trapper. Possible new rule: You can try to wrangle that gator off your land all by yourself! Yr Editor is clearing out space in his files right now for the influx of "tragic" stories. (Yeah, that's the ticket Ñ tragic!)
[Florida Sun-Sentinel]

Sarasota's Clown Statues: Who's the Fool?
Sarasota continues to worry about vandals attacking the decorative, 6-ft-tall clown statues it set out around town to celebrate its Ringlingness, but basic Internet research would have revealed that every single city that has put up such decorative displays have had 'em vandalized Ñ even Minneapolis Nice. Put clowns, or cows, or whatever, in the streets, and you're begging for it.
[Sarasota Herald-Tribune via Lakeland Ledger]

Floridians With Worse Sex Lives Than You
Police in Stuart are looking for a man who broke into a home on Saturday night and slurped on a sleeping woman's left big toe before her husband awoke and chased him out of the house.

Your Daily Loser
Military woman Agla Nadia Vincent, of Jacksonville NAS, was arrested after a 7-month investigation and charged with duct-taping her boys, then ages 2 and 3, together while she went to work. In one incident, military police knocked on her door to ask about witnesses' story of seeing duct tape on the kids, and Vincent denied it, but on the entry by the MP's, they found the little tykes on the bed stuck together, whereupon Vincent jumped on the bed and gnawed the tape off with her teeth. Whew! They needed 7 months to decide whether to bring charges?
[Florida Times-Union]

Other Things To Worry About Today
Palm Beach officials have finally cracked down on Donald Trump's oversized American flag rippling through the night on his Mar-a-Lago, and Trump is meekly apologizing Ñ yeah, in your dreams; he's right back in their faces! [Associated Press via Orlando Sentinel]  . . . . . In Miami, Robert Moran got 30 months in the slammer for a way-elaborate Coast Guard hoax (wasting over $300k), with his only excuse being that maybe he might have had a little too much to drink. [WPLG-TV (Miami)] . . . . . The problem was a flood at the Fort Pierce jail; the solution would be to prevent any inmates in the future from using the overhead sprinklers to help them trim their hair weaves. [TCPalm.com]

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