Congressman Alan Grayson, a Democratic gentleman from Orlando who is known for his outspoken ways, has entered the race for the Senate seat currently held by Marco Rubio, a Republican gentleman who is apparently trying to be president.
Grayson, who doesn't care what you or I think, faces a primary battle with West Palm Congressman Patrick Murphy, a gentleman considered by many to be more moderate, which, to mainstream Florida Democrats, means electable (even if he is a former Republican). It doesn't hurt that, unlike Grayson, he seems nice.
While Murphy does support the Affordable Care Act, he has never said Republicans want people to die quickly if they get sick, as Grayson has. Murphy doesn't use terms like "shitting robot," at least in public, and, if he has a wife, would never call her a gold digger in public.
Needless to say, it should be a testy and expensive primary in August 2016, and Grayson will be there to challenge Murphy on the bland, meaningless platitudes Democratic strategists seem to think Florida voters like because they're all old or something.
Needless to say, a lot of people are weighing in on the internets.
Murphy, who has raised more money than 99.99999 percent of us will make in our entire lifetime over the last quarter, issued a statement Thursday morning in response to Grayson's announcement.
"I look forward to a clean, honest discussion of the issues in this primary," the statement reads. "I have built a strong record of working together to get things done, while remaining true to core Democratic principles like protecting Social Security and Medicare, fighting for a woman's right to choose, and strengthening the middle class. I look forward to sharing that record with Floridians across the state."
With Ponte Verdra GOP Congressman Ron DeSantis, a Tea Party gentleman, as their only major contender, Republicans are still lacking in the amicable, electable candidate department, but that may change soon.
Having Grayson in the Democratic primary to them is like having Donald Trump in the Republican primary for Dems, even though in no universe could Grayson be nearly as obnoxious as Trump. Still, they're taking what they can get and thus are very, very excited that they can now attempt to make funnies about the race. They may even try to help Grayson win the primary since they think he's unelectable in a general.
“Washington Democrats may be recoiling in horror as Alan Grayson enters the Florida Senate race, but American Crossroads welcomes him with open arms," said Ian Prior, a spokesman for American Crossroads, a SuperPAC run by GOP dark overlord Karl Rove. “Democrats up and down the ticket in Florida are going to have to answer for everything Grayson says. Even more so if this dyed-in-the-wool liberal and Democratic version of Todd Akin ultimately defeats the manicured opportunist and former Republican Patrick Murphy.”
Indeed, some moderate Democrats do appear a tad skeert of the prospect of a Grayson-Murphy primary, and wasted no time expressing their concerns.
Trial lawyer and medical pot backer John Morgan, a strong backer of Charlie Crist's gubernatorial run last year, told SaintPetersBlog he tried to talk Grayson out of it multiple times to no avail.
“I told him he’s in a unique position," he said. "He is in a safe district, he has a national voice and he serves a lot of good for the progressive cause and he’s unelectable statewide.”
Grayson shot back by saying Morgan ought to "lay off the scotch, at least until noon."
“His real issue is that he has a white-hot blind rage, and that white-hot blind rage will be his undoing,” Morgan told the Orlando Sentinel's Scott Maxwell, adding that he prefers Jack Daniel's.
Meanwhile, it's unclear who will joint DeSantis on the GOP side. Most likely, Lt. Gov. Carlos Lopez-Cantera will join in soon, but there are a whole long list of others who may be interested.
