Guys: f*@k me right already!

breasts bouncing in clear view.  Whatever the reason, it seems that this is the end all, be all of sexual positions.


I have thighs; one person went as far as to call me thick (although that does slightly offend me - I try to take it all in stride).  I can squat over you, bounce my juicy pussy on your swollen cock until... well until my thighs burn with extreme pain.  During this demonstration you lay there complacently on your back or make small attempts to squeeze my nipples while I do all the work.  Are men just lazy fuckers at heart?  I am leaning toward yes.


I might get hate mail for weeks after saying men are lazy in bed, but to be completely honest, I am just plain tired of doing all the work.  Occasionally you will flip me over, pull my hips up in the air and ride me doggie style, but just the slight mention of doing it doggie feels wrong.  Why couldn't it be named something a little sexier like passion pushing or hair pulling tit squeezing fuck?  I love my dogs to pieces, but I don't like to think about them during sex.  But I do love this position, maybe because it's one we can both participate actively in.


Girl on top, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl: those are the most popular responses I get when I ask "what is your favorite sexual position?" No man says with the woman scissored on her side or woman on bottom with her legs in the air---which seems to be the best position to hit my 'G' spot, but that's not important, is it?  How about just good old fashioned missionary?  No one likes to say this because it sounds boring, but it allows for a lot of body contact and kissing (my favorite part).


I'm at a point in my life that I can pick and choose who to sleep with.  I might not have the time to go out to a swingers event every weekend so when the opportunity presents itself, I look for the couple that will meet the needs of both Soccer Dad and me.  The outgoing guy that will be fun in bed and a sexy woman who might lean over for a kiss every now and then.


Follow Rebecca on Twitter or Facebook


[image-1]

After careful research, in depth conversations, and a lot of experience, I've come to the conclusion that most men are lazy in bed. Yes, I just said that out loud: men are lazy in bed.  I've tried on a few men in my lifetime, rode them like a cowgirl, flipped around in reverse fashion for good measure, and even twisted myself up like a pretzel.  In the end, men want women on top.

Some claim they love to see my face when riding their cock while others enjoy my rather large

WE LOVE OUR READERS!

Since 1988, CL Tampa Bay has served as the free, independent voice of Tampa Bay, and we want to keep it that way.

Becoming a CL Tampa Bay Supporter for as little as $5 a month allows us to continue offering readers access to our coverage of local news, food, nightlife, events, and culture with no paywalls.

Join today because you love us, too.

Scroll to read more Tampa Bay News articles

Join Creative Loafing Tampa Bay Newsletters

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.