The Internet is a marvelous thing.
It allows me to do half my research and writing of these columns on my couch in my underwear — and the other half nude at the desk in my spare bedroom.
Unfortunately, the same technology that makes it possible for me to take business-casual to disturbing extremes also makes it possible for terrorists to MURDER MILLIONS OF AMERICANS IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE!!!
Gosh, I hope that didn't sound alarmist.
What I meant to say was that, thanks to the Internet, WE COULD ALL DIE AT ANY SECOND!!!
I'm using all-caps and italics because, well, it's fun, but also because I'm hoping to draw your attention to a recent statement by the director general of the International Atomic Energy Agency, Mohamed ElBaradei.
A quick ketchup: The IAEA is an arm of the United Nations charged with keeping tabs on the nuclear activities of UN member nations. The agency helped catalog and dismantle Iraq's weapons-o'-mass-destruction program in the 1990s and had reason to believe that by 2002 Saddam had no WMDs worth invading for. As it turned out, he was right.
The Bush administration once tried to force ElBaradei from office because he had the nerve to suggest (correctly) that a U.S. invasion in response to Iraq's supposed WMD threat, should only come as a final step after the IAEA searched Iraq again for WMDs.
ElBaradei's recent speech about WMD was a polite-but-creepy warning to world leaders about the threat of nuclear terrorism. In it, he begged world leaders to commit more money to his agency's hunt for loose nuclear materials that could be used by terrorists to build nukes.
Thanks to the Internet, he says, plans for building nuclear devices are easy to get and share.
Speaking to representatives from the 145 nations that participate in the IAEA, ElBaradei characterized extremist groups trying to obtain nuclear weapons as the "No. 1 security threat right now.
"The rules of deterrence don't apply to them. If they get it, they will use it," he said, before running out of the conference hall screaming "WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!" in English, French and Arabic. (Last time with caps and italics, I swear.)
OK, he didn't really scream, but he did chastise world leaders for being stingy with him. Spending millions to secure nuclear materials around the world is a bargain compared to the kajillions that would be lost if a terrorist detonated even a primitive weapon in a city.
The IAEA's annual budget for battling nuclear terrorism is $16.5 million.
By comparison, the New York Yankees paid Derek Jeter $22 million this year. Pretty boy didn't even hit .300.
And the U.S. spent more than $18 million every hour in Iraq in the last year.
ElBaradei shouldn't take it personally that he's not getting more money to hunt nukes overseas. We're not really all that committed to finding nukes here either.
A recent report by the bipartisan Partnership for a Secure America gave the Bush Administration a C for its overall efforts against nuclear terrorism.
Reading the report, it's hard not to get the impression that C was a generous grade. The report gives the U.S. a "C+" for efforts to cooperate with foreign governments on nuclear terrorism, and "D's" for communication between departments and long-term commitment to nuclear security programs.
The highest grade on the report card is a B screening incoming cargo for nukes. What earned us the B? The U.S spent $72.5 million in 2008 to put nuclear detection devices in our ports — the equivalent of four hours in Iraq, or 3.3 Jeter- years.
According to the WBZ-TV in Boston, it was only this summer — seven years after the 9/11 attacks — that the U.S. started running incoming cargo in Boston through radiation detectors. And Boston is apparently one of the first ports doing that type of screening.
That's a B?
This article appears in Oct 8-14, 2008.