Hey There, Tampa Bay!

We’re looking for some help. You see, we’ve been in Tampa for over a month now, yet it feels as if we haven’t really gotten to know the place. Our taskmasters at Creative Loafing keep us slaving all day long, and most of the time we’ve been too tuckered out to do much urban exploring of our own. We fritter away our spare time with cutthroat games of Parcheesi, petty vandalism and a number of other activities generally reserved for retirement or the Republican National Convention.

Suffice it to say, our loafing hasn’t been terribly creative.

But we’re young and open-minded and in our prime! And bored. Most of all we’re bored, which is why we’re making this appeal to you. Before we jet out of here in a month we want to attain “True Local” status, and you’re going to decide what that means. Show us around. Break us in Tampa Bay-style. Tell us where we have to go and what we have to do there. Send us to the tourist traps and the hometown haunts, the rooftop where everyone parties and the sliver of beach that only you know about. Challenge our endurance, quicken our senses, tickle our funnybones. Teach us Tampanese. St. Petersburgian. Clearwatery. And don’t be afraid to test our inhibitions—for you, Tampa Bay, we’ll try anything once.

We’ll report back daily on our new blog—Must-Do II: New Kids on the Bay (blogs.creativeloafing.com/must-do). We may not be as hunky as Joey McIntyre, but we can still throw down. The blog is where you can submit suggestions until your typing finger goes numb. You can also check out videos, pictures and stories from our exploration. And after a month has passed and we’ve ravaged this city, we’ll revamp the Must-Do list and present you with “Must-Do II: The Hundred Things You Gotta Do When You’re New To Tampa Bay.”

We ask only one thing. If we emerge alive from these four weeks of binging and purging—our clothes tattered, our beards tangled, our brains bruised—we want to garner the most honorable title this side of Guantanamo. We want to join the ranks of Tampa Bay’s True Locals.

—Brian Reed & Ted Scheinman


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