The cities of Tampa and Gulfport gave Pride Week an extra kick on Monday. That was the day the cities opened their new domestic partner registries, which offer unmarried partners both gay and straight the chance to sign up for some of the rights previously available only to married couples and immediate family members, among them the right to visit and make decisions for a partner in a health care facility; to make funeral and burial decisions for a partner; to be notified as a family member in case of emergency; and to participate in decisions about the education of a partner’s child. St. Petersburg and Clearwater’s city councils have voted to establish registries as well, with opening dates to be announced, and Pinellas County is considering a countywide standard. (Hillsborough County — once infamous for a ban on gay pride observance but now boasting an openly gay county commissioner — will take a little longer.)
A domestic partnership is not the same thing as a marriage, city officials and LGBT activists are quick to point out. But in Tampa Bay, the acceptance that these registries represent is a milestone that just a few years ago might have been unthinkable.
Creative Loafing talked to three couples last week who were planning to register, and who were instrumental in making city-certified domestic partnerships a reality in their respective towns.
Ed Lally & Phil Dinkins, Tampa
Together: 35 years in October; married in Toronto, Canada, 2003
Careers: Tampa Development Officer, Equality Florida; Commercial leasing agent, CLW
Registered? They were hoping to be the first couple in line on Monday, but were unable to leave their Sunset Park home because of Debby-flooded streets. They’re hoping to register later this week.
Why get registered?
Ed: I think number one it’s a recognition by the city of my relationship with Phil… This is a big deal even though it’s just a handful of protections. We lose out on 1,138 federal protections and benefits that are allotted to people legally married in the U.S.
Phil: It’s a great first step.
What role did you play in getting the registry approved?
Ed: I went down and testified to both hearings — Phil did, too — about the importance of implementing this registry. Thirty people got up and spoke about why it was important… This is the direct result of 15 years of Equality Florida work. We helped put together the language in Orlando a few months ago. Now it’s kinda fun — all these cities across the state are calling us and asking for our help — we’ve got 20 campaigns going on in other cities and counties across the state for either a registry or a human rights ordinance. Tampa was the first to approve a registry in Tampa Bay, then Gulfport, then Clearwater, then St. Pete.
Partner or husband?
Ed: We no longer use partner. But sometimes we’ll use the word spouse — in my mind, spouse is non-confrontational.
Who made the first move 35 years ago?
Phil: Ed approached me in a bar in Louisville on a Tuesday night.
Did he have a good opening line?
Phil: It generally had to do with an invitation to go home with him that night. [Phil didn’t, but a date the next night sealed it.] The marriage came 26 years late. [Ed proposed via email.] I responded to the email, he made all the arrangements, and we married on the 26th anniversary of that first meeting. It was also my parents’ anniversary — and they’ve been married 70 years.
What makes you proudest of your spouse?
Ed: How good of a guy he is.
Phil: He’s my little activist.
Ed: Not “little” activist…
Phil: He feels so passionately about stuff — about LGBT rights. It’s inspiring — not just for me but for others.
Barbara Banno & Jeanne Kunkle Phil:
Together: Eight years; married six years ago in Toronto, Canada.
Careers: Co-owners for two and a half years, Stella’s Restaurant in Gulfport; Barbara has been a Gulfport City Councilmember for one and a half years; Jeanne is in real estate.
Barbara: Jeanne built Stella’s so I could leave corporate America. [Barbara worked for 13 years with American Express.]
Registered? Yes. They were among the first couples to register in Gulfport on Monday.
Who “proposed”?
Jeanne: Oh, her.
Barbara: As we started talking about it on City Council and I had a strong feeling it would pass, I asked her.
What’s the big deal about having a registry?
Barbara: Gulfport is such a diverse community. To be the first in Pinellas just shows how welcoming and open our city really is… I was the one who brought it forward to my peers. [She’s the only gay person on Council, but not the first.]
Jeanne: It just gets us one step closer to equal rights across the board — not just gays and lesbians but everybody. One of our Council members [Dan Liedke] voted against it after the first reading because he said it was symbolic. He got pummeled — because it’s more than symbolic.
Barbara: The city wanted a 5-0 vote — it wasn’t enough just to win. One hundred people showed up for the second reading. The overwhelming response from the community showed [Liedke] he should support it… To have an additional six rights means a lot to us. This is about providing us with additional rights that we were not entitled to the day before — it’s the city government recognizing us a gay couple.
How’d you meet?
Jeanne: I was in real estate in Fort Lauderdale. Barbara rented one of the houses on a street I had houses on. [Just being neighborly, Jeanne brought Barbara some muffins, and the rest is history.]
Why St. Pete’s registry matters, too:
Barbara: They will recognize any other city’s domestic partnership registry. That’s a big deal for Gulfport because the city does not have hospitals.
What we should watch for during St. Pete Pride: Barbara and Jeanne will be riding the Gulfport Trolley, which will sport a sign saying, “First in Pinellas.”
What makes you proudest of your partner?
Jeanne: Her independent spirit — she just gets her teeth into something and the next thing I know I’m putting posters up, “Vote for Barbara.”
Barbara: Her willingness to be fearless makes me feel safe. We’ve taken a lot of risks in our life. She knows we can accomplish anything we can set our minds to, and that just brings security to me.
What’s the best dish at Stella’s?
Jeanne: Homemade corned beef hash benedict.
Barbara: With homemade Hollandaise.
Steve Kornell & Bobby Poth
Together: Three years.
Careers: Steve, a Pinellas County Schools social worker, has been a member of St. Petersburg City Council since 2010. Bobby is a firm administrator at Westerman White Zetrauer, P.A.
Registered? Not yet. Steve took the lead in convincing St. Petersburg City Council to pass a domestic partner registry June 7, but an opening date for the registry has not yet been set.
What would be the coolest thing about being registered?
Bobby: Being able to pull the plug. [But seriously, folks…] For me, it’s a step forward in our relationship. If I get in a crash on the way home [now], he can’t see me in the hospital.
Steve: Until our state recognizes our relationship, this is it.
Plus, the certificate of domestic partnership would be their first legal “papers”:
Steve: Our families get along very well so it wasn’t as much of an issue.
But there’s Harvey:
Steve: Our dog Harvey [named after Harvey Milk]. We have both our names on his adoption papers.
Boyfriend or partner?
Steve: We actually never use the word boyfriend.
Bobby: Because it sounds weird.
Steve: I just didn’t think boyfriend applied.
How’d they meet?
Steve: I got elected in 2010. Right around April 2010, Watermark did a story about Relay for Life [an event Bobby was working on] being cancelled.
Bobby: Steve called to talk about it. We met, and had a six-hour lunch at Jojo’s.
What do you regard as your anniversary?
Bobby: We date it from when we both changed our status on Facebook.
What makes you proudest of your partner?
Bobby: He’s selfless.
Steve: He’s just a really good person and he’s smart and he accomplishes some amazing things.
This article appears in Jun 28 – Jul 4, 2012.