How young is too young? What defines age? The actual number in years? Maybe it’s the experiences in your life that define your age? Can age be described in accomplishments or possessions? I’ve recently opened myself up to someone who’s made me ask these questions.
In my 20’s, too young was anyone who wasn’t 21 and up. I had lots of friends who were bartenders, so naturally I spent a lot of time getting free drinks and closing down bars. I can sum up those years of my life with 1 song title…Let’s get drunk and screw! Now that I’m no longer in my 20’s or have friends that are bartenders, I don’t spend much time in bars or drinking. What I do spend my time on, is finding my next Mr. Right Now or maybe even THE Mr. Right. Which leads me to have age questions because the person that’s presenting themselves to me now is under 21. I’ve broken this rule before and it ended horribly. The circumstances surrounding the age difference now are different so can the relationship be different?
The old under 21 was Harry. He knocked on my front door one day and I was hooked. He had green eyes that sparkled with youth and mischief. When he first smiled at me I couldn’t help but get hot and flustered. He was tall, dark and handsome with naturally defined muscle tone, I just wanted to pull him in my front door and devourer him. No denying he was HOT!! And because he was so HOT my sex drive took over and my good sense turned into “oh let’s just feel good” and not “is this such a good idea?” Naturally we started to date and the relationship turned into I’m older, he’s younger and now I feel like his mommy. Nothing kills the sex in a relationship faster than feeling like your partners parent, unless of course you’re into infantilism but that’s a whole other issue.
Feeling like his mom didn’t happen overnight, there were clues from the very beginning that I should have picked up on. He was in college so he didn’t work, he didn’t have a car or a license, he’d been dating someone in their 30’s and he’d never lived alone. But he was so HOT and the sex was so GOOD that at the time those things didn’t matter much to me. I was too busy wondering how he could be such a good lover at such a young age. It didn’t occur to me at the time that he was just a gigolo, getting by on his good looks and giant penis.
Like any Cougar, (that’s an older woman who dates a younger man) who dates a man with a body of an Adonis, I sacrificed things in my relationship that I would have expected from an older man; like stability, a place of their own, a steady job or a wardrobe that consisted of more than jeans and jordans.
Harry and I dated for a long time and he never managed to obtain what was necessary to take care of me as his woman. He always thought of my as his possession, never once thinking he could break me if he didn‘t take care of me. I did break, then we broke up and I was put off the whole idea of a younger man.
Then comes Dick. Dick is also under 21, but he’s completely different than Harry so I have to wonder if it would turn differently? Or would it just be the same because of his age? For such a young age, Dick has managed to accomplish a lot. He has his own home, his own car, a good job, and it wouldn’t matter where we went, he’d have the appropriate clothes to wear. He’s even planning on opening his own company in the next 6 months. Dick understands responsibility, he’s entered adulthood and has taken it by the reins and has made it his bitch. If we started to date I know it would turn into me having to take on the mommy role, he‘s too responsible for that.
Dick’s actually kind of sweet and cute but not the Adonis I was dating. Hotness makes for a great sex life but it can’t make up for experiences or accomplishments or possessions and isn‘t it those things we‘re looking for in our partners? Someone who can take care of us and provide us with a sense of stability and security? Can someone who’s so much younger than me provide these things? It did for Demi & Ashton, but neither of us are millionaire actors living the Hollywood life. We’re real people, with real issues, with real friends who are going to look at us crazy because of an age gap.
I’m sure this time he’s not using his giant penis to get women to take care of him. Actually I don’t know what size it is, not yet anyway. What I do know is that he has his life together and on track and he’s done it all without my help or support. That’s making him far sexier than Harry and it’s making me really want to take a chance on him no matter what his age is.
