The fundraising quarter is coming to a close and there are just 9 hours left to join the winning team. I am working hard to raise the resources necessary to earn the privilege of representing the people of Florida in Washington, DC, and I humbly ask you to join us by supporting the Crist for Senate campaign. You can visit Charlie Crist.com right now to make a contribution of $10, $25, $50 or even $100 whatever you can afford.
Dear Fools and Idiots:
There isnt much time left for me to continuously and shamelessly shake-down voters across this mess of a state. Ive worked so hard raising money I almost forgot I am supposed to be the governor! Why Im so darned shameless, I even had a huge fundraiser on September 11th. Victims, shmictims Ive got a campaign to fund. Send me some money now and Ill think about doing something touchy feely on the tenth anniversary when the media is really focusing on it. Next year is an election year, so itll have to wait until 10. I know times are hard, but tap into your kids college fund if you have to, this campaign is going to cost a lot of coin.
As the debate over health care, national defense and our growing deficit rages on in our nations capital this week, I know that Floridians are worried about getting their kids to school, keeping their jobs, and paying their property taxes and homeowners insurance. The people arent looking for big government programs to solve their problems; theyre looking for committed public servants who support policies that keep government out of our lives and more importantly out of our bank accounts.
Now I know Ive made a mess out of the states property tax system, and I pretty much dropped the ball on fixing the states homeowners insurance crisis, but hey, it doesnt affect me I dont even own a home! As for health care and defense, when I get to D.C. Ill pretty much do whatever the big-shot party bosses and lobbyists tell me I need to do to continue receiving their support. Thats how it works. As for the deficit, remember, your kids can thank me for adding nearly $1 Trillion to the federal debt when I went along with Obamas stimulus package. Good luck paying that back without a huge tax increase! And let me say this if youve lost your job: Quit complaining and send me money. Im a big government liberal in a slick Republicans suit. If you like entitlement programs paid for by future generations, I am your guy. So stop looking for a job and vote Charlie Crist! Im going to take care of you. Now thats a committed public servant!
Floridians arent looking for President Obama, Speaker Pelosi and Senator Reid to create more red tape disguised as success. Floridians are looking for leaders who understand that less is more. Less government, lower taxes and reduced spending means new businesses, added jobs, and more money left in the pockets of hardworking families across our nation.
Floridians arent looking for Obama, Pelosi, or other Democrats to create red tape disguised as success theyve got me! Just dangle some campaign dollars in front of my face and Ill find you a government program youll just love. Floridians are looking for leaders who understand less is more. Less leadership, fewer principles, less Conservative, and less planning for the future. In short, in voting for me, youll get someone who will leave a legacy your kids will have to clean up and fix. Now thats less than what you bargained for!
As Ronald Reagan said, Government is not the answer. Government is the problem. I know that Washington needs common sense problem solvers who look beyond bureaucracy and blame and instead seek meaningful solutions to challenges facing our nation. Through Amendment 1, Cover Florida, and countless other real-world solutions, weve seen success here in Florida. Now we have a chance to show Washington how its done! Please visit CharlieCrist.com and help us reach our fundraising goal by contributing $10, $25, $50 or even $100 today.
As Ronald Reagan said, Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. I know that I have what it takes to keep the ___ rolling out of Washington if you know what I mean . In short, I need you to send me some money so I can go to Washington. I know Ill fit right in!
Chuckles the Clown
Aka: Governor Charlie Crist
Chris Ingram is the president and founder of 411 Communications a corporate and political communications firm, and publisher of www.IrreverentView.com. Ingram is a frequent pundit on Fox News and CNN, and has written opinion columns for the Washington Times, UPI, Front Page Florida, and National Review online. E-mail him at: [email protected].