In defense of fake breasts and the men who like them: MJ Morning Show’s Breast Christmas Ever (videos)

While getting breast implants is seen by some as propagating an unrealistic image of female beauty, the bottom line is that it’s the individual’s choice. A perfect portrayal of this choice is in the HBO show, Sex and The City, which depicts classy, sexy, empowered women embracing their sexuality and even exploiting it for power, money, or writing material. This trend is echoed by the fact that the majority of CL’s Sex & Love contributors are women.

But, a double standard exists for men. [image-1]

However, it is much more acceptable for women to blog incessantly about how penis size matters. While this stance may earn some angry responses, the claims of  “sexism” or that "all penises are beautiful in God's eyes" will be dismissed by most as the crazy babble of men with small-dick complexes. Ironically, I bet a good chunk of men’s insecurities over penis size is a consequence of the feminist movement, as women are now encouraged, and rightly so, to voice their opinions and preferences on what they like in bed. This paranoia over penis inadequacy has spurred a multimillion dollar industry pushing pumps and pills that doctors consistently say are as much of a fairytale as Jack buying magic beans to grow a giant bean stalk. Penile enhancement surgery exists, but the costly procedure often results in impotence and only a minimal size increase. If plastic surgeons ever perfect a reliable enhancement procedure, I’m sure men will line up to get artificially boosts in much larger numbers than women wanting breast implants.

I've come to terms with the fact that I’ll never fulfill my dream of being a professional underwear model. However, if I meet a sexually forward woman at a bar and I discover my penis doesn’t fit within the specified range of her ideal size, I don’t tuck my dick between my legs and cower away. We’re all willing to compromise. And sure I’d like to impress men and women alike with a penis powerful enough to pummel a piñata, or catch women staring at the sweet potato growing beneath the inseam of my pants, but I’m not going to lose sleep over it.

Women shouldn’t get breast enhancements to please men like me, or other women (I suspect that just like getting dressed in designer clothes for clubs, women get implants primarily to make other women jealous). But, if a larger chest is what’s going to make you happy and confident, and you have the money, then I’ll be your biggest advocate. In the end, whether flat chested or with breasts like boxing gloves, the sexiest thing a woman can be is affable, confident, and in full control of her sexuality.

The MJ Morning Show has teamed up with St. Petersburg’s Dr. William Adams for the Breast Christmas Ever 2009. From November 11 through December 11, contestants are encouraged to convince judges with videos or verbiage, why they deserve free implants. The contest is judged on “need, creativity, and persuasion.” The 13 winners receive $900 to offset operating room charges, and the $6,500 surgical procedure. Check out the official rules, enter, and vote for contestants seen below at

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The holiday season means many things to many people: creating a small grease fire while deep frying a turkey, wearing a Santa suit at a bar in attempt to coax women onto your lap, threatening in-laws with an electric carving knife, and for 13 MJ Morning Show listeners, the holidays also mean free breast implants.

Now here’s where I’m supposed to get all PC and say how the term “breast enhancement” is a misnomer because silicone doesn’t improve breasts and women shouldn’t submit to the media’s inflated image of beauty. Well it’s not going to happen. I like fake breasts. I also like small breasts, breasts with nipple piercings, and breasts large enough to suffocate me… I’m not ashamed. I like breasts.

One consequence of the feminist movement is that women are now in full control of what image they choose to present of themselves.


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