In relationships, questions are often the answer

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In the beginning, this overanalyzing revolved around questions like, if we were spending too much time together, if the relationship was affecting my job performance, or if my boyfriend was interfering with my social life... However, a few months into the relationship, the questions became more serious. I questioned our life plans. I wondered why he still would not open up about the hard time he was clearly going through. Most importantly, I wondered why I had yet to feel like I was falling in love.

When questions become a little more serious, we all tend to consult our friends to determine if these questions are cause for concern or simply products of the over-active female mind. A few consultations and many glasses of wine later, it became obvious that the questions had become the answer. If we were truly happy, I wouldn’t tear up when I asked these questions—in fact I would not even be asking these questions. If the relationship was going well, I might be consulting my friends with questions like: when should we be talking about moving in together, when is it okay to introduce him to my parents, or where should we go on a romantic vacation?

What had started as a healthy form of analysis became a resource for knowing when to call the relationship over. Questioning a relationship at every stage is important. While you may not always have answers to your questions, sometimes the types of questions your relationship is raising are answers in themselves.

click to enlarge In relationships, questions are often the answer - Blue Valentine
Blue Valentine
In relationships, questions are often the answer

click to enlarge In relationships, questions are often the answer - Blue Valentine
Blue Valentine
In relationships, questions are often the answer
  • Blue Valentine

I overanalyze everything. Usually this personality quirk enhances my life by making me more aware of what I am doing wrong or what I could be doing better. When it comes to being in a relationship, I am no different. With my last relationship, I tried to put my mind on autopilot when we were together so as not to spoil any of our semi-precious moments. The minute I was alone, however, I started picking apart our relationship like a zombie digging into warm flesh (I might be watching too much Walking Dead).

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