Wanna wipe your butt with the U.S. Constitution? We suggest U.S. Constitution Toilet Paper, a brand spanking new "product" that you can own for the ultral low price of $8 a roll.
Here's the hilarious sales pitch:
Dont just tell people that Americas leaders are wiping their butts with the Constitution, hand them a roll of US Constitution Toilet Paper! This custom designed TP looks like the US Constitution, but the words have been updated to reflect the actual modus operandi of our modern government. Highlights include a revised Presidential Oath of Office, tricameral Congress, and Bill of Privileges.
For many people, seeing the Constitution on a roll of TP is sobering. Wiping with the Constitution can be a very emotional experience. US Constitution Toilet Paper causes many people to ponder what our Founders wanted, what America has become, and whether we have lived up to our ideals.
The toilet paper itself is fairly plush. It is printed using soy ink which is organic and biodegradable. This is fully-functional, usable TP! Each roll is individually shrink wrapped for protection during transit.
...Federal Budget Toilet Paper coming soon!