Gov. Crist has had a five-star week so far. If he keeps this pace on
transparency in gov't, Florida's openness advocates will have to move to
Georgia to find business. If he's serious about demystifying official
language, expect some Florida lawyers and bureaucrats to consider maybe
opening restaurants. But he also told us voters on Inauguration Day that he
was going to get those property insurance rates down, whereupon the Florida
insurance industry ($3 billion in profits last yr; $19.6 million underwriter
of Crist's campaign) gently informed the highest official in the state that
(1) it ain't happening and (2) in fact, now's a good time to mention that we
need a rate increase. [Tampa Tribune]

Good Thing He Didn't Move to Polk County Kurt Spath, 36, apparently a drop-dead stud, relocated from south Florida to
Orlando and signed up with the expensive Events and Adventures dating
service, which apparently offered him a series of women with visible body
fat. Never, ever, had that problem in South Beach, he said. He's suing E and
A for a refund. [Orlando Weekly]

Follow-Ups State Sen. Gary Siplin of Orlando (serving, despite a recent felony
conviction, which he is appealing) now has a 2nd legislative initiative (to
go with his bill to restore voting rights to convicted felons): a bill
permitting people convicted of crimes, but via evidence fabricated by the
gov't, to sue (which will put a damper on all those vendettas that the gov't
carries out all the time, or at least seems to, in Siplin's mind) [St.
Petersburg Times]. And by the way, the Florida Bar yesterday formally
suspended Siplin's law license [South Florida Sun-Sentinel] . . . . .
Another bullet that fell to earth on New Year's eve hit Jeff Murphy of Fort
Myers in the leg and knocked him down [WBBH-TV (Fort Myers)].

Floridians With Worse Sex Lives Than You A guy was arrested for lying on the floor in a changing room at the Beall's
Outlet store in south Fort Myers so he could peek-say, didn't Yr Editor
already report this story? Hey, I did! [The F State, 12-1-2006]
Well, almost. This is another guy. Same store, same M.O., except the first
guy just stuck his camcorder under the stall partition. [WBBH-TV (Fort
Myers) via MSNBC]

More Things To Worry About Today Mr. Pat McGuire, the director of the Police Benevolent Ass'n in Palm Coast,
was arrested for lewd 'n' lascivious behavior with girls ages 8 and 12
[WKMG-TV (Orlando)] . . . . . The gang of kid vandals that hit Bonner
Elementary School in Daytona Beach apparently did a thorough job, all seven
of them, including the 8-yr-old and the 6-yr-old [Daytona Beach
News-Journal] . . . . . If you're still challenging U.S. House election
results in Florida, two months after Nov. 7, you must be a Democrat
(Christine Jennings in a Sarasota district, John Russell in a Hernando
district, and Clint Curtis in a Seminole district) [St. Petersburg Times] .
. . . . New state Corrections chief Jim McDonough has proposed a modest
weight-loss/fitness campaign, especially for his front-line officers
(nothing serious enough to satisfy Kurt Spath, obviously), and some don't
like it, so we'll see if they get all tuckered out trying to stop it from
happening [Associated Press via Miami Herald] . . . . . A Bartow man gives
new meaning to providing legal services pro bono [WTSP-TV (St.
Petersburg)] [Sorry. Yr Editor apologizes for the disgusting pun].

This article appears in Jan 3-9, 2007.