Kama Sutra - Roly Poly

Getting into position:

The woman is instructed to crouch down on her heels, while the man enters her from behind in a half-seated (or full-seated if you're really lazy) position. His job is to caress her entire body, including back, breasts, and thighs, while also kissing her tenderly (chicks really dig this).

She controls the motion of the ocean by rocking back and forth on her heels. It takes a fair amount of balance and patience to accomplish an orgasm in this position, but for those who have the will, they may certainly find a way... and I do stress the word "may"!

On a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate position (1 as horrible, 10 as sexual nirvana)?

This position receives a 6, and I am being nice here!

Did you have difficulty getting into the position? No, there really is no trick.

Did you feel like a pretzel? Were you able to do the motions once in position? Pretzel is not a good choice of words, we felt more like horny roly-poly's, hence the name. The motions are not too difficult, but they will take a fair amount of balance for the woman to accomplish.

Any recommendations on getting either in or out of this position: For the women: roll forward and bring yourself to a standing position. For the man: Roll to one side (left or right) and then fall asleep!

How long did you last in the position? 7 minutes.

Enjoyment once you were in position (for the woman): She was able to get some decent clitoris stimulation with the rolling action, so it wasn't a complete loss.

Enjoyment once you were in position (for the man): Not too much to speak of... the view even sucks in this position.

Short Answers:

Was the position comfortable? Were you able to relax?

Man: It was not that comfortable, and it would be even less so on a full stomach I'd imagine.

Woman: She was not too comfortable through most of the action and her feet fell asleep halfway through.

Would you consider this to be an intimate position (Why or why not)? While the chicks will certainly appreciate those little butterfly kisses on the back, in general, the lack of face contact and friction, will leave you pining for some good old-fashioned doggy style.

Are you achy or sore after the fact?

Man: No!

Woman: No...

What did the position feel like (both mentally and physically) in 50 words or less? Mentally: this position will have you staring at your mid section, wondering if you should have done those sit-ups earlier that day. Physically: You will be wondering if it isn't too late to get out of this boring-ass position, slam out a few sit-ups, then fu** the normal way!

Did she reach orgasm? ...A very microscopic one.

Did he reach orgasm? ...No!

Did it take longer than usual to reach orgasm? She took about 7 minutes, which is about average for her first one...

Would you do this position again (why or why not)? No, I think I will let this one gently slide by the way side. I much more enjoy the up and down friction of the reverse cowgirl to grinding bone fragments off my pelvic region!

Any suggestions to make the position more pleasurable: Lean back, and tell her quit grinding her batooty and bounce that big booty!


Since 1988, CL Tampa Bay has served as the free, independent voice of Tampa Bay, and we want to keep it that way.

Becoming a CL Tampa Bay Supporter for as little as $5 a month allows us to continue offering readers access to our coverage of local news, food, nightlife, events, and culture with no paywalls.

Join today because you love us, too.

Scroll to read more Tampa Bay News articles

Join Creative Loafing Tampa Bay Newsletters

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.