Kama Sutra: the spider

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On a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate this position? 3.

Did you have difficulty getting into position?

Yes we did. The first item of difficulty for the man will be lying back while maintaining penetration. Now I may be no John Holmes, but for most positions, I have plenty of erection to work with. But the way this position is set up, you need a good 8 to 9 inches to really achieve decent penetration, otherwise you will be rimming it the whole time. I must admit here that this problem will be escalated if your partner has a bubble butt, which mine does.

Did you feel like a pretzel? We felt like two sticks screwing.

Recommendations for getting either in or out of position:

You are probably going to want to exit out of this one quickly -- for the guy it's as easy as sitting up, putting your hands under both her knees, pinning her legs behind her head like Bugs Bunny, and getting out all your frustrations from the previous position.

How long did you last? 8 minutes, although it's possible that it just seemed that damn long.

Enjoyment once you were in position (woman):

She likes it slow, she likes it romantic, but geriatric... no

Enjoyment once you were in position (man):

Ditto, this position is boring as hell!

Was the position comfortable?

This position is a sleeper.

Would you consider this to be an intimate position?

This is one of the least intimate positions we have experienced. The only way a couple could get less intimate would be if they were in the same room screwing somebody else.

What did the position feel like?

We've all heard the phrase, “that's about as exciting as watching two flies f***.” Well, this position is about as exciting as watching two sticks f***.

Did it take longer than usual to reach orgasm?

Yes, I calculate that we would have achieved orgasm by the time world peace was initiated.

Would you do this position again?

No, no, no... There's too much against you with this position. We both like a challenge, but there has to be a fighting chance for you to actually get the job done. This position is simply a tease.

Any suggestions to make the position more pleasurable?

If you can talk your partner into a third person, then you might get a decent party going!

The Spider begins with the couple facing each other in a seated position. The woman lies back, while the man scoots between her legs, achieving penetration. Then the man lies back, careful to maintain his erection inside her. If the position is done correctly, each partner should be lying flat on their back with their head between the others' legs, butts touching.

To improve the range of movement, the couple can bring both knees up so that they each have something to grip during the motions. The couple is now instructed to wiggle, gyrate, and grind their buttocks anyway they like.

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