Kelly Shibari is an architect of the adult industry; she not only influences which adult stars and products rise to prominence, but she helps shape how we view the pornosphere.
Shibari got her start manipulating the entertainment landscape by working in design on mainstream television and film. Seven year ago she stepped out of the background of these censored sets and into the spotlights of hardcore porn. Using her exotic looks, her porcelain skin, and her cunning, Shibari quickly became one of the most recognizable and "mainstream" BBW performers, but she didn't stop there.
Shibari's influence continues to permeate more and more areas of the adult industry. Noticing an absence of plus-size models in BDSM, she created the acclaimed fetish site, PaddedKINK.com. She also began writing for an array of online publications to build her brand as an authority on sex, porn, and marketing. Utilizing her talent for navigating mass media, social media, and the adult industry, she started her own marketing firm, ThePRSMgroup.com, which partners with industry heavy hitters like Lainie Spieser, FineAssMarketing.com, and Steme.biz.
For examples of how Shibari combines her on-screen talents with her marketing knowhow, one need only look at her accolades from the most recent awards season. She motivated her legions of devotees to vote her the BBW Performer of the Year at EXXXOTICA’s fan-based awards, The Fannys. Also, her self-titled, self-produced, and self-marketed DVD, Kelly Shibari is Overloaded, was nominated for XBIZ and AVN awards, as well as a Feminist Porn Award for the film and its marketing campaign.
I sat down with Shibari at the 2013 NightMoves Awards to discuss business and to flesh out our million-dollar idea to pioneer cuddle porn.
What advantage does being a performer give you when managing the PR for fellow adult stars?
I started off as a production designer for mainstream films. I’ve been pounding the pavement and getting freelance work for almost 10 years. I applied that mindset toward porn. I had to because no agents represent plus-size models.
It's actually pretty simple when it comes to media and PR because all performers go to these media events: red carpets, meet & greets, and appearances like Nightmoves. For me it is just a matter of saying, "Hey, you’re a photographer," or "Hey, you’re someone who does interviews. Can I get your email?" You build your network and grow your email list.
So much of PR is learning how to interact with the media. You have to understand that the media is just at important as you are. If you're a performer doing a red carpet, and a photographer wants to take your photo, if you don’t take the time to interact with him and give him a good photo or an interview, then that person and that media outlet won't reach out to you a second time. If you have a diva attitude toward the media, then, a year or two after getting into the industry, when no one wants to do a feature piece on you, or work with you, you only have yourself to blame.
So you're saying that our idea to pioneer cuddle porn together was all just a façade? You just wanted to win my affection by promising to cuddle me on camera?
No, I still want to make our cuddle porn. I really do. I think cuddling is missing from porn. If we really dedicate ourselves to it, and get a really good webmaster, and have a really good landing page, and we do some seriously hardcore snuggling, and we put up really good ads at AVN, then I think the AVNs might eventually recognize cuddle porn with its own category.
And we'd be the fucking champions of cuddle porn.
Right, because we’d be the only ones doing it.
Where do people hear about new porn stars now? Do they read about them online? Are they exposed to them on tube sites?
When I started out learning about porn, it was really the gentleman’s magazine rack at the gas station, or the adult bookstore, or a peepshow. Or you found someone’s stash if you were too chicken to buy your own, or you watched cable, or you watched the adult chanel at a hotel. If you wanted to actually meet a performer, you had to go to the one or two adult conventions a year. Social media and the Internet has changed all that in good and bad ways.
The good is, fans have more accessibility. They do not have to wait until a convention to talk to us or send fan mail. They don’t even have to write an email. They can just send a tweet or a Facebook message. If the performer is accessible, she'll answer. That kind of personal interaction is doubly as effective. It's instant gratification. You are not just watching porn stars in videos now. You are interacting with them.
The bad side is that we’ve become almost too accessible. Now there are so many conventions and personal appearances. You used to just go to the AVNs in Vegas. Now there are conventions in Chicago, Ft. Lauderdale, New Jersey, Tampa...
But, does being able to converse with a porn star on Twitter or Facebook make a fan more likely to want to meet her in person?
I think social media has killed the contract star system. Companies like Vivid, Wicked, and Digital Playground had contract stars. They took them all to do appearances at different events. Now, because of the Internet, everyone is finding niche products like transsexual porn, or BBW porn, or clown porn, or snuggle porn (if we make it). They can find whatever they want online. That would have been a lot harder if your only avenue for porn was an adult bookstore, peep show, or watching it in a hotel.
When someone suggested I get into plus-size porn seven years ago, I didn't think it existed. I had never seen it. Until then, I had only been exposed to the mainstream stuff, which was usually produced by companies like Vivd, Wicked, or Digital Playground. Now, you go on Clips4sale.com and find porn for just about anything, from foot worship to girls washing dishes.
Washing dishes naked?
Washing dishes clothed. I have a friend who just sells videos of her washing dishes and she actually makes a pretty decent living.
Is that even porn?
In my head if it’s something people get off to sexually, it's a fetish. You can sexualize feet, or vacuuming, or washing dishes. Now you can find just about anything online, which is cool, but that also means that the era of contract stars is ending.
Does the fact that there are fewer contract stars make it better for you as a PR agent, because it means non-contract stars can rise with the right exposure?
Absolutely. Fifteen, even ten years ago, most award shows didn't even have categories for anything beyond the basic "Performer of the Year," "Movie of the Year," categories. Now the awards show season, and the actual awards shows, are much longer because they have hundreds of categories. But, as a publicist and a marketing person, it really does make it a lot more fun because every performer who approaches us has something a bit different to offer. They aren’t all California blondes with implants. Nightmoves is the perfect example. Every girl here is a little different. Some girls are augmented. Some are not. Some are tall, short, whatever. They all do different things. Some girls are tattooed. That didn’t exist fifteen, twenty years ago.
It's not just thirty porn stars who do all the work like it was in the 80s and early 90s. Now you have thousands of girls working all the time. Also, now we have social media ADD; you are being fed information every second of every day from different outlets. If you are not visible, then you are easily forgotten. Out of sight, out of mind.
It's our job as publicists to make sure we come up with strip club appearances, interviews, photos shoots, collaborations with toy companies—anything to get you noticed. We just had several of our porn stars do voiceovers for Grand Theft Auto Five. We are constantly looking for interesting things for porn stars to do beyond looking pretty and spreading their legs. Some of our performers have even branched out into doing sex workshops for couples and things like that.
Do you think we're to the point where porn stars will start having their own reality shows? How far into mainstream culture do you think porn can penetrate?
Rocco Siffredi is doing a reality show for Italian TV right now. The US still has a ways to catch up with things like that. However, we are seeing adult performers in different countries, not necessarily becoming mainstream stars like Rocco is in Italy, but performers are definitely branching out.
Mainstream is interesting because some of the most highly rated shows have featured adult entertainers. A perfect example is The Girls Next Door. It was the highest rated show on E! but they couldn’t sell advertising for it. Every third ad was for other E! shows. They ended up canceling it because they couldn't attract advertisers. So, there's still a learning curve when it comes to mainstream audiences and adult stars, and finding out what is acceptable and what is not.
But compared to ten or fifteen years ago, the number of people who acknowledge that they watch porn, even the number of women who acknowledge that they watch porn, is so much higher than it has ever been. Even if porn stars aren't on mainstream TV, mainstream audiences are becoming more accepting of porn stars.
What should a porn star look for when selecting a PR agent?
Publicists don’t just handle performers. We also handle novelty companies, DVD companies, even award shows. Every publicist does something a bit different. Some agents are good at getting you appearances and booth signings at conventions. There are companies whose forte is getting DVDs reviewed and nominated. There are publicists who are good at getting strip club bookings. Some publicists have more connections in New York. You need to ask a lot of questions. Check rates, reputations. Every publicist has something different to offer but it's up to the performer or the company to see if the publicist's skills fit their needs. A lot of girls bounce between publicists, which is not a bad idea. Each agent has a different network and can get you a different kind of exposure.
Follow Kelly Shibari on Twitter, @KellyShibari and Facebook.com/KellyShibari. See explicit content of her at KellyShibariXXX.com and explore her BBW BDSM site PaddedKINK.com.
