Thanks to everyone who followed my alcohol-soaked adventures, suffered through my smart-ass guidance and took pleasure in reading about my reckless ways. I wore several hats at Creative Loafing — staff writer, music critic, music website co-editor, office loudmouth — but my favorite role was Bar Tab author. As you might have already heard, CL has laid me off (and two of my editorial colleagues and close friends, among others). This is my final CL Bar Tab.  To mark the occasion, here are my 10 favorite love letters and pieces of hate mail the column generated online this year. Cheers.

1. “Tips on holiday office party etiquette” (Dec. 10). Kellie Marx: “ We just had ours yesterday. … One of our Mensa candidates proceeded to pull a Spaulding from Caddyshack and walk around drinking every ones left-over cocktails and shortly after told my boss to “shut the hell up, asshole,” chucked a full ashtray at my assistant, told three of her coworkers to “please fuck off,” wadded up dollar bills and threw them at our server as she walked by. Then went out to the parking lot and curled up in the fetal position under a boat trailer.”

2. “Why Rays baseball strikes out in Tampa” (Oct. 8).  Anonymous: “Hey, you yuppy, uppity, shit! I saw you. I thought you were just a free-loadin’ mother lookin’ for free food like a buzzard. (Us regulars, and we got one of everybody, knew it would be spaghetti and not ‘til halftime.) My bad.
I saw you sniffin’ ‘round and I thought you were just tryin’ to bum some chow. The stools were taken and you and your “Bubba” set down at the table were the food goes. We all knew that was just wrong. Everybody could tell you were a stranger lookin’ for somethin’. You just didn’t smell right … Come on back, ya hear. Nobody did you wrong. If your buddy hadn’t been such a latte-sippin’, pinky-raisin’ wuss, you’d had a chance to get to know us. No offense, bro’.”

3. You are what you drink: The ladies’ edition (June 25). FLgirl: “Well, Wade, how nice of you to drop these little pearls of wisdom into the middle of CL’s ‘We’re here, we’re gay and you are gonna like it!’ issue. Talk about a sterling example of tolerance! You don’t trust any woman who doesn’t drink, you say. Wow! THERE’S some serious logic for you — branding a woman totally untrustworthy because she doesn’t get bombed on a regular basis.”

4. Warped weekend: Welcome to my world (July 16). Wendell Wilson: “You experience things like many wish they had the balls to do. Sure it’s not always pretty, but I prefer the ‘edge’ as opposed to the ‘mesh covered lens’ approach to reporting. Hope to stumble into you somewhere!”

5. “Fight for your right: It’s time to lower the drinking age.” (Aug. 8). The Rear Admiral: “You know, Wade, that SoHo would become even more crowded on the weekends. But on the other hand, maybe this would provide for interesting social interaction. A scrawny 18-year-old hitting on a 43-year-old cougar is something I’d like to see. This requires further contemplation.”

6. Flugtag follies (July 23). Kevin Riley: “Like the other readers, I take offense at your article, but I have an angle, unlike your story. I am from the winning team, the so-called ‘David Hasselhoff-worshiping gym and sun freaks.’ In stark contrast to your less than observant and rambling vituperation, the event was an incredible success…”

7. Bar etiquette (part 1) (May 21). LG (in response to another comment): “Sounds like the guy above is just mad that he spends all his time and money at bars and has never been able to pull tail out of a single joint. … I think you should be nominated as the moral police.”

8. Ultimate Bar (part 2) (April 23). Duffer Dan: “A bar without Golden Tee? Does it at least have beer? Sheesh…”

9. “Wine, women and Nintendo Wii for Thanksgiving” (Dec. 3). Dogmaphobic: “Wade my man … you are my hero! Plus, after reading your piece today I had to go get [myself] some of that tasty sounding bacon and a nice cool beverage. Yeah.”

10. Sibling pride (Aug. 22). Tampa Streets: “Do you really drink that much or is it embellished for entertainment value? For people that want to live vicariously through your drinking because they can’t. Maybe you just want to be the Poster Child for AA. Anyway don’t stop!”

Honorable mention: You are what you drink: The men’s edition (July 2). The Edman: “It’s a shame you ‘tapped out before witnessing and/or participating in anything seriously wicked;’ oftentimes, that’s the whole point of consuming the ubiquitous demon juice.”

Honorable mention: Surviving Gasparilla (Jan. 30). Gigglecream (responding to another comment): “Jon, you sound like a douchebag next to a thesaurus.”

This article appears in Dec 24-30, 2008.