Lesbian sex: A guide for douchebags

As stated by [image-1]


So to answer your question, Broseph, pleasuring a woman with my mouth isn't just "oral," it's sex. And penetrating her with my hand isn't just "fingering" her, it's sex. And using a dildo or strap-on with her isn't "pretending to have a dick," it's sex. We're not fucking each other because we haven't met you yet, we're fucking each other because we like to fuck women. It's okay, honey...I'd be jealous of my black 9-inch too.

"So, what is 'sex' for lesbians, anyway? I mean, neither of you have a dick, so it's not like you can really fuck. You just haven't been fucked by the right dick yet."

You know, you're right, guy who still high-fives and wears Ed Hardy shirts. Obviously we dykes can't have "real" sex. "Real" sex requires use of your giant cock. You describe "sex" as the act of penetration. And even though I can penetrate a woman using other methods, and probably find her G-spot more quickly and efficiently than you can, I'm not having real sex with her. It's ‘cause I can't cum in her butt crack, isn't it? Don't be shy...you know that's your jizz-catching area of choice...usually ‘cause you're fucking her doggy-style...or you just have it in her asshole...I'm not insinuating you're a closet homo or anything. Your protein shake is ready.

Scroll to read more News Feature articles

Newsletters

Join Creative Loafing Tampa Bay Newsletters

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.