Life As Blow It: Let's go to Mexico, said the idiot to his wife

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"Scott, you know that the entire country is a minefield of drive-by shootings and drug-war executions, right?"


Longer pause.


"Really?"


"Yes, really. The entire country is in upheaval. Dudes pull up in cars and execute entire families in broad daylight. They kill cops, Scott. They burn down the villages of families who have grown pot for hundreds of years, they kill the descendants of people who have 'left the business,' they gun public figures down in broad daylight."


"Why don't the cops stop them?"


"Corruption. The authorities have looked the other way for so long that these drug cartels have been granted a certain amount of power, an expectation of business as usual."


"So, like, it's not really about drugs, right? It's about people who worship the dollar getting so much power so quickly that they're completely out of control."


Long pause.


"What do you mean?"


"I mean, it could be anything. Oil or technology or whatever. The value of the thing shot up so quickly that the power it represented overwhelmed everything. Like, the end came to justify any means, and morality be damned."


Long pause.


"Er ... what?"


"It's like people who had never had any sort of power suddenly realized that they had a lot of power, and decided to claim it by any means necessary, outside the law. Like, there's so much potential money here that we're willing to kill all the folks that stand between us and domination of the industry."


Thoughtful pause.


"Do you really think that people think like that? That they'd go out and fuck everyone that might represent an obstacle between them and, you know, a lot of money?"


"That's what it seems like you're saying, my sweet, sweet life partner."


"Well, why don't we just send in the National Guard or whatever to kick some drug-dealing ass?"


"Because we must pick our battles, my love, lest we look like some sort of fascist regulation program."


"Anyhow, it seems like a bad idea to get involved with Mexico in any way, shape or form. Have you got a back-up plan?"


"I do. I've always been drawn toward the simple flavors and homegrown culture of Greece. Talk about an age-old culture."


Long pause.


"Baby, have you actually ever read a newspaper?"

"Pack your bags, baby, because I finally got half of that bonus I was promised, and you and I are going on an exotic-ass vacation."

"'Exotic-ass?' This isn't one of those weird things where you turn our apartment into a scene from Saw, is it?"

"Nope. You and I are headed for the combination of luxury and history that only Mexico can provide."

Long pause.

"Mexico?"

"Hell yeah! Warm weather, old-ass ruins, horseback riding and the timeless mystique of Pacific waves. Cheap tequila!"

Long pause.

"Honey?"

Long pause.

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