Liveblogging the 1950s: The GOP debate


11:03
Trump: Japan and China are beating us. "We can't do anything right." "We have to end Obamacare and we have to make out country great again."

11:01 Lapel pin count: Marco, check; Chris Wallace, nope; Megyn, no lapels; Ben Carson, check; Huck, nope. — DW

11:00 Ben is the only person on stage to separate Siamese twins or take out half a brain. 

11:00 Ted Cruz is a moron.

10:59 Rand— "I'm a different kind of Republican."

10:54 First impressive thing Ben has said. —DW

10:52 "I'm certainly an imperfect man" — finally, some self-awareness, Gov. Walker. Though entirely insincere. — DW

10: 51 OMG, they're comparing parents! — DW

10:50 Someone on Facebook asked how the word of god influences them for some reason. Ugh. Ted Cruz just vowed to turn the U.S. into a Christian version of Saudi Arabia. Yay. Good job, guy. — KB. "Cruz has word from God every day. Reason enough right there to abstain from religion of any kind. 'Cause if God likes talking' to the likes of Cruz, then I suggest seeking enlightenment elsewhere..." — DW

10:45 Megyn: "And… God." Oh. God. No. — DW

10:42 Huckabee being a dick about transgender people in the military, and probably would be about gays in the military as well as women not in the kitchen and animals in humane conditions. — KB. Huckabee - 'military is not a social experiment' - same damn argument that was used against gays in the military. —DW

10:42 Are we hallucinating, or did Walker say, "when you find moosh you push?" 

10: 40 And Fox haircut has a point about Obama's lame 'red line' rhetoric. But OMG Ben Carson shut up please. — DW

10:39 I am quite sure Fox News saved the ISIS stuff till last because they know that America is sufficiently spooked that this is the one issue the Republicans might be able to win on. — DW


10:38 "If Iran was a stock, you folks should go out and buy it." And you got to believe that Trump's stockbroker would be first in line. There is nothing more Donald Trump anyone has ever said, ever.

10:37 Trump holding his tongue because insulting Obama is "not nice"

10:34 The Republican Debate: brought to you by the new NWA biopic. Probably because it's on Rubio's IPod. — JR. So can I just say I love the old-lady-test-drive VW ads? "I need resuscitation —- mouth to mouth!" — DW

10:31 "I don't want my marriage or my guns registered in Washington." Can't even. — DW

10:29 Uh-oh. Gay marriage. Kasich: "I just went to a wedding of a friend of mine who happens to be gay." (Crowd roars?!) — KB And wow, he'd even love his daughter if she was gay! Wow! Really cool, John! — DW

10:27  Jeb: I didn't call Trump a clown or buffoon. I said he's decisive. "I was a governor of a state that helped people rise up." Uh-huh.

10:26 Oh, snap. Kelly asks Turmp when he actually became a Republican. "I evolved on the issues just like Ronald Reagan." (To paraphrase Trump.)

10:17 Ugh. Iran gets "everything" they want...Huckabee prefers World War IV.

10:16 Walker remembers Iran hostage crisis, gets a cookie. Ties Iran to ISIS with a yellow ribbon.

10:14 Rubio barfs his entire platform on the stage, including repeal/replace of Dodd/Frank.

10:11 "I built a net worth of more than $10billion." Etc. I am so rich. But let me tell you about the lenders they aren't babies. They're total killers." Atlantic City went bankrupt. Politifact, help!

10:10 "I've taken advantage of the laws of this country" — "taken advantage" being a phrase all those people would understand who paid out big bucks for the Tampa condo that Trump had nothing to do with. —DW

10:08 Huckabee, Social Security was not stripped to pay for Obamacare

10:05 Walker has a very creepy smile. — DW 

10:03 Jeb just sucks the charisma right out of the room. — DW. Jeb just sucks. — KB

10:01 Carson: "She is the epitome of the progressive secular movement." You are mistaken, sir, that's Bernie Sanders. And we love him. 

10:00 Lightning round. Time to bash Hillary. Kasich is Huntsmaning himself. :/

9:52 Jeb on Common Core "I don't believe the federal government should be involved directly or indirectly."

9:51 Okay, everyone agrees taxes would be reformed. Ben Carson: "I think God's a pretty fair guy."

9:49 Trump: "Most of the people on the stage, I have given to. A lot of money." He gave to Hillary and a ton of other people, is now bashing her for having a private jet.

9:47 Trump to Paul: "You're having a hard time tonight." (Jeb is rolling his eyes, I bet."

9:46 Trump: Obamacare is a "complete disaster" even though he was for a single payer. "It works in Canada, it works incredibly well in Scotland." "I have a big company with thousands and thousands of employees. "We have to take care of the people who can't take care of themselves and I will do that through a different system."

9:41 Ted Cruz or Pugsley Addams? You decide.


9:41
Ted Cruz is a dickbag.

9:38 Yay - Rand and Christie shouting at each other. Paul Drops the Obama hug bomb, Christie responds with the 9-11 bomb. Touche. Sheesh. Megyn Kelly: "That was an interesting exchange."

9:36 Chris Christie plays the 9-11 card in order to attack Rand Paul on Paul's opposition to a surveillance state.

9:35 First reference to President Obama. Wow. That took a while.

9:34 I am fascinated by everyone's hair. — DW

9:33 They're going to spend the next hour on immigration, aren't they. Snooze.

9:32 El Chapo is going to tunnel into the U.S. now? Stop him, Marco Rubio!

9:30 Kasich: "Mr. Trump is touching a nerve because people want the wall to be built." Do they? Kasich, you just lost all of the debate points you just won. — DW

9:30 Massey Services commercial: "Maybe you've got the wrong guy." This would sum up the Republican Party's candidate problem.

9:28 Oh, good, commercial. Holy shit. This is intense. It really seems like an episode of what we imagine Smackdown is like.

9: 25 He's a demagogue. Never scared me before till right now. But on the other hand, good TV. —DW

9:24 Oh, fuck. Trump is up again."If it weren't for me, you wouldn't even be talking about illegal immigration." Um, yes, we would. You're an ass.

9:23 Bush is disappearing before our eyes. — DW

9:20 Kasich voted to expand Medicaid. Reagan did too (for those of you playing at home, that means drink). He's talking about treating people for drug problems and getting people on their feet instead of incarcerating them forever. Also supported Medicaid expansion because he hates the idea of the poor receiving primary care in emergency rooms...hey, I kinda like this guy. Guess that means he's not long for this primary.

9:19 "Only ISIS is responsible for the terrorism." — Rand Paul, AKA "Curly Joe" — DW 

9:18 Did Huckabee fucking say to revoke the fifth and 14th fucking amendments to the fucking Constitution because of abortion? Man, fuck that guy.

9:18 Kill the mother, save the unborn child. Walker's just saying what the Republicans really believe. Appalling. — DW

9:16 Oh, no. Abortion. Kelly: Scott Walker, would you really let a mother die? "I've got a position that I believe is consistent with many Americans out there." "I defunded Planned Parenthood more than four years ago." 

9:15 The haircut from Fox is asking tough questions about NJ's finances to Christie. — DW

9:13 This is like watching wrestling.

9:13 What, he's threatening Megyn now? — DW

9:11 Trump: "Only Rosie O'Donnell" in response to Megyn's question about his chauvinistic comments. His response? "I think the big problem this country has is being politically correction." He doesn't have time and America doesn't either. "It's fun, it's kidding, it's a good time."

9:10 In Florida they call me Jeb because I earned it. Jeb! 

9:08 Why is Rubio better prepared for executive office? "If this election is a resume contest then Hillary Clinton is going to be the next president." ...probably not the way he wanted to start out his comments. - DW

9:07 "What's probably most important is having a brain." - Ben Carson Oh, and personal responsibility, hard work, etc. Sure.

9:06 Rand on the attack. Earlier than expected.

9:05 "I want to win as the Republican, I want to be the Republican nominee." — The Don.

9:04 A raise of hands...who will run an independent campaign against the GOP nominee? "I do not say that I have to respect that person." - Guess who.

9:02 Everyone here at the Stonewall Democrats watch party at Edge of 9 is booing. Wonder why.

9:00 The Donald.

9:00 For those like me who didn't have Fox News Channel on their "Favorites" list, some intel: On Bright House, it's Channel 1214. - DW

8:58 Carly Fiorina "unleashed a can of it," said Fox blond Megyn Kelly.

8:56 Is there a fan behind one of those podiums?

8:55 Cattle call!

Tonight is an historic night. It's historic in that reality TV has finally crossed over into presidential politics, thereby resulting, probably, in high jinks and the rest. It's unclear whether Donald Trump will have actually listened to his consultants and toned down his inflammatory, racist rhetoric or if he'll keep it up, thereby baiting those with whom he shares the stage to do the same. Time will tell, and, whatever happens, we'll be here to make fun of it.

Though we wish it were a reality show a la The Apprentice. Oh, well.

Stay tuned.


Scroll to read more News Feature articles

Newsletters

Join Creative Loafing Tampa Bay Newsletters

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.