10:58 Okay, well, the commentators are doing that spinning thing they do so well, so I'll leave it at that. It was a pretty cool night up until about 10:11. Kind of surprised the Tea Party is still a thing. But oh, well. Maybe next year they won't be.
10:49 Economic shackles of Obamacare? Um, guy? You get health insurance for life. You don't get to say "economic shackles."
10:47 This guy has an "economic plan" that will "free millions from government dependency." ...according to his speech writers.
10:44 Just so you know, this is the guy who told US officials of Indian descent who were testifying at a House Foreign Affairs Committee meeting that "I'm familiar with your country, I love your country." He's that guy.
10:41 Florida Congressman Curt Clawson is offering a rebuttal from the Tea Party Caucus. He's from Fort Myers/Marco Island, so he represents the bulk of Florida's old white people.
10:37 Okay, why is MSNBC focusing on Sen. Ernst's camo pumps? You know, I'd expect that from FOX, but you, MSNBC, you know you're perpetuating the mainstream media's bizarre obsession with successful women's fashion choices. Just stop.
10:35 "With a little cooperation from the president, we can get Washington working again." Um, lady, you're the one that belongs to the party whose entire platform consists of being a dick to the president.
10:33 Promises to "repeal and replace (Obamacare), (curb) executive overreach...higher taxes, like the president has proposed.
10:30 "Keystone Jobs Bill?" Um, last I checked it will create, like, 16 permanent jobs.
10:29 The "hurt" caused by "higher insurance bills"? I'm just glad I'm not one of the boy pigs on your family farm.
10:28 Glad I didn't grow up near a Hardee's.
10:26 Is Joni Ernst a robot? Or is she in front of a green screen? So plastic.
And now the rebuttal....
10:11 State of the union is strongerer. In a few minutes Republicans will tell us why it's actually the weakliest (hint: president not a crusty white Republican).
10:06 "I have no more campaigns to run...I know 'cause I won both of them. My only agenda for the next two years is...to do what I believe is best for America." Sick burn!
10:03 Obama recalls a his time in Congress and says many of his former colleagues say they're disappointed that their time is spent "arguing past each other on cable shows, constant fundraising "Imagine if we did something different.'" "A better politics is one where we can debate without demonizing each other," he said.
9:57 On Gitmo: "It's not who we are. It's time to close Gitmo." Sounds familiar.
9:56 "As Americans we respect human dignity even when we're threatened." Yeah, except for the whole reality show thing.
9:53 Climate change. 14 of the 15 warmest years on record have been since 2000. Obama says he doesn't buy the whole "I'm not a scientist" thing. "I'm not a scientist either, but I know a lot of really good scientists." Pentagon says climate change poses immediate threats to national security. "We should act like it."
9:53 He just said "Congress" and "bipartisan support" in one sentence. Good one, President Obama.
9:51 Urges Congress to pass legislation to protect Americans from cyber terrorism. Bet they'll get right on that.
9:50 Of course he waits till I get up to get a refill to mention Cuba. Oh, well, at least he's talking about Iran and vetoing any sanctions and war being a last result.
9:43 President Obama refers to the higher capital gains tax rate last seen during the Reagan administration, says he wants to calculate someone's taxes "based on her bank statement, not on the number of accountants she can afford." Republicans: What kind of marxist shit is this?
9:39 The President talks free trade. From the (ugh) RNC's Twitter: "Democrats - especially the radical (Sen Elizabeth) Warren-wing - are @BarackObama’s biggest obstacle on trade."
9:36 Let's set our sights higher than a single oil pipeline, including more trains. Tell that to Rick Scott.
9:32 President Obama says he wants to lower the cost of community college...to ZERO. (He wants to make community college free like high school has been, the latter of which was not being very popular with the robber-baron lobby.)
9:30 Higher wages are good, but helping Americans keep those wages high via education and training will keep wages higher.
9:29 Equal pay for women. Good idea. We like money, too.
9:27 Child care? Paid sick leave? For all Americans? Sounds pretty good. What's the catch? It'll get repealed in two years when a Republican president takes over? Oh.
9:25 Helping working families feel secure in a world of constant change? Sounds like Marxism to FOX.
9:24 Distracted by John Boehner's baggy, burnt sienna chin.
9:22 President Obama says he'll veto the terrible bills Congress is trying to pass ostensibly to undermine his legacy.
9:21 Winks. "Middle class economics works. Expanding opportunities works."
9:20 Uh-oh. "Health coverage." Democrats stand and applaud...Republicans scowl.
9:19 He said "jobs." That means drink. Also, low gas prices.
9:18 "You are the people I was thinking of six years ago today." Uh-huh.
9:15 Budget will be "filled with ideas that are practical, not partisan." Maybe not for you, man.
9:14 "The state of the union is strong." DRINK!
9:13 Oops. Wrong slide. If you're watching the White House's stream, did you notice that?
9:11 After listing all of the travesties of the early 2000s: "It has been and still is a hard time for many." (Thanks, Bush?)
9:10 The President gets a standing ovation...oh wait, that's just Congress finding their seats.
9:08 Paul. Ryan. Ew.
9:06 WHY ARE WE YELLING?
8:01 People are awkwardly standing around chatting, waiting for the president to come in. He's from Hawaii, so our guess will be that he'll show up fifteen minutes late. Aloha time, son!
Tonight we offer up-to-the-minute commentary on the president's comments, unless we are up fixing ourselves a refresher. Our beverage of choice was supposed to be grapefruit champagne to give this whole thing a Florida twist, but that wound up being too medicinal for our tastes, so rum.