I am posting this from the hell that is the Baltimore/Washington International airport at Christmas time. I cannot think of a worse time of year to be traveling. If the hordes of amateur travelers uninitiated in the mysteries of TSA procedures don't get you, then the nauseatingly sweet stench of their Starbucks' gingerbread lattes will. And just when you think you've made it – you're at your gate with your black coffee and the stale Glazed Cake Munchkins you got at Dunkin Donuts the night before – the real onslaught begins: "Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock…" ad nauseum, ad infinitum.
In honor of the incessant seasonal serenade that is driving me swiftly to the edge of sanity, here's a top 10 list of the Christmas songs I hate the least. (Let's face it, none of us really like any of them.)
Just one more thing before I begin: this will be my last post for Tampa Calling. As soon as I'm finished, I'm going to hang myself with the strap from my carryon bag.
10. White Christmas
I'm a Floridian which means I was raised on stories of how my forefathers fled the frigid north to avoid ever having one of these again. I derive a sort of sick pleasure knowing that I'll be slathering on coconut scented tanning oil and drinking margaritas this Christmas while the rest of Christendom shivers.
This article appears in Dec 17-23, 2008.