Masque Sexual Flavors neutralize the taste of funk, or success, depending on your preference

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So, I set the sample Masque strips on my nightstand and there they remained for two months. A tongue anywhere near my junk makes me ticklish. For me, blow jobs primarily consist of me fighting the urge to laugh and to reflexively knee my partner in the face. As a consequence, most instances of oral sex quickly transition to sex.


On a night when sex was not an option, I placed a strawberry strip of Masque on my wife's tongue. While she went to work, I read the instructions. It claimed the product worked up to ten minutes after application, which put even more pressure on me to finish quickly. I put the package down and tried to concentrate.


"How was it?" I asked when she finally sat up and took the band out of her ponytail.


"What do you mean?" she asked. "Shouldn't I ask you how it was? You're the one who got the blow-job."


"No," I said. "Masque. The flavor strip. Did you notice any difference with the taste, or lack there of?"


"Yeah," she said, nodding. "I think so."


"Was it better? Did it taste like strawberries?"


"It didn't taste like strawberries. It didn't really taste like anything, which I guess is the point."


Later, when I was alone, I popped the chocolate strip in my mouth. It didn't taste like chocolate. It tasted like a less intense version of mouthwash. It also made my tongue tingle, vaguely reminiscent of benzocaine.


Masque seems best suited for couples who are comfortable enough talking about the negative taste of oral sex, or for a person with a pronounced aversion to semen. Much like flavored lube, these strips are probably not something you want to bust out on your first few encounters with a new partner. But, Masque could be something that adds another flavor to your sex life, like a vibrating cockring or warming gel.


Learn more about Masque at YourMasque.com


Follow Alfie on Twitter or Facebook and email him if interested in writing about Sex & Love

click to enlarge Masque Sexual Flavors neutralize the taste of funk, or success, depending on your preference - masque
masque
Masque Sexual Flavors neutralize the taste of funk, or success, depending on your preference

click to enlarge Masque Sexual Flavors neutralize the taste of funk, or success, depending on your preference - masque
masque
Masque Sexual Flavors neutralize the taste of funk, or success, depending on your preference
  • masque

"Why would I want to mask the flavor?" my wife asked when I proposed testing Masque Sexual Flavors. "Blow-jobs taste like success."

I know you think I'm exaggerating my wife's lust for oral sex to brag about my awesome sex life, but you have to understand that her declarations of love for blow-jobs are usually accompanied by descriptions of previous "successful" encounters that don't involve me.

Admittedly, she's not the ideal candidate to test Masque. This is also a woman who thinks mold will turn any kind of cheese into perfectly edible, blue cheese. I would have tested the product myself, but this would require me performing oral sex on several dudes with and without Masque, or at least recruiting other women as test subjects—neither of which I'm comfortable writing about.

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