Scarlett Johansson. Director Brian DePalma. Scarlett Johansson. Writer James Ellroy. Scarlett Johansson ... how can this flick possibly go wrong?
HUD SPELLED BACKWARDS IS ...
Unemployed prankster gets onstage at Katrina recovery conference posing as a HUD official; precedes Dubya, who was posing as president.
Our Lady of Blessed Fire-Retardant Sleepwear, don't fail us now.
Munch's masterpiece found after police tracked the suspects with dogs trained to detect existential dread.
Next year to be renamed "Mobbed-Up Day."
DYLAN'S NEW DISC
Critics predict: "He's the next Steve Forbert!"
CANNED BY TRUMP
Apprentice sidekick Carolyn Kepchner fired. The Donald objected to her comment, "Tampa? Are you out of your mind?"
Law firm bidding irregularities designed to take attention away from evil Sprawlway construction plans. Works.
STEVEN SEAGAL'S THUNDERBOX
When's he gonna write another tune as smokin' as the closing theme from Under Siege 2?
Forecasters cut predictions again, down to five. Good news, no joke.