Music for the Masses (and Asses) the Guavaween Music Lineup

What percentage of the tens of thousands of patrons dancing, parading, and stumbling through the streets of Ybor City on Guavaween, do you think, are aware that they're attending a fundraiser for the Ybor City Chamber of Commerce? It's a bit funny — where some cities barely tolerate their more raucous traditions, this burg created one and charged admission. But it's also got to be akin to repeating the first month of a back-breaking, high-yield job, year after year; every day, they swear that they're going to quit, and every time they see the paycheck, they decide to come back and clock in.

For 19 years, it's been the Bay area's designated annual evening for getting its collective freak on. Sure, Guavaween's daylight FunFest program offers both cultural and kiddie-centric diversions, but everybody knows that the nightlife (what the press materials refer to, with masterfully understated ambiguity, as a "Night of Costumed Revelry") is what the holiday's all about. It is simply Get Hammered and Act Like An Idiot Nite.

Otherwise normal folks are provided the opportunity to either act like idiots or watch large numbers of their peers do so. Idiots are provided the opportunity act like themselves, only more so, out of doors and in front of a much larger throng of witnesses/eggers-on/potential victims.

That such activity needs a soundtrack goes without saying, and the festival has earned a reputation for steadfastly supplying the latest in up-and-coming mediocrity. Its main stages have, in the past, generally featured emerging mid-level national acts with a buzzed single or two under their belts, unknown "genre-trend" bands the labels aren't exactly exhausting themselves trying to break, and nostalgic names far past their prime.

Which is not to say that Guavaween hasn't sported some world-class names, or that all the artists who fit into those categories suck — on the contrary, plenty of worthwhile national and local outfits have played the party, at various locations and with varying degrees of exposure. Here's a brief rundown of the day and evening's various stage events.

MIX 100.7 STAGE

Eighth Avenue & 15th Street

11-11:20 — DJ Giveaways & Such

11:35-12:05 — 3rd Wish (new Orlando boy-bandage)

12:25-12:50 — Ashley West (17-year-old native Floridian country-rock singer)

1:05-1:30 — Faith Trent (young local Urban/R&B singer just signed to Tommy Boy Records)

1:45-2:15 — Velez (teen-pop)

2:30-3 — Exact (ditto)

RADIO DISNEY STAGE

Centro Ybor

11-11:30—Standing Ovation

11:30-12 — RAVE Review

12-12:20 — Radio Disney Fun

12:20-12:40 — Katie Levent

12:40-1:10 — Paragon Group

1:10-1:40 — ChadZ w/FILO

1:40-2:10 — Cori Yarckin

2:10-2:40 — RAVE Review

2:40-3 — Michael Allen & Company

3-3:30 — Velez

SOUTHWEST AIRLINES STAGE

Centennial Park

The Southwest Airlines Stage features some of the area's best dance groups, including performances by Jackie's Dance Studio and The Frank Rey Dance Studio. The Children's Costume Parade and Contest begins at 3:30, followed immediately at 4 p.m. by the Guava Love It! Cooking Contest.

BOOZE-FUELED EVENING

HIJINX 98ROCK/CAPTAIN MORGAN GOLD STAGE

Eighth Avenue & 14th Street

In reverse order:

Sevendust (TVT Records —

spectacular live groovecore from Atlanta)

Blindside (Elektra Records — Swedish hardcore-cum-heavy melodic rock)

Seether (Wind-Up Records — post-Creed modern rock)

Theory of a Deadman (Roadrunner Records — Nickelback's latest discovery)

10 Second Drop (Tight, hooky local modern rock)

93.3 FLZ STAGE

Ninth Avenue & 13th Street

In reverse order:

Nick Carter (Backstreet Boy gone solo)

Daniel Bedingfield (bouncy electro/acoustic pop)

Angie Martinez (veteran female NYC hip-hop/urban artist)

Amber (club diva with two recent No. 1 dance hits, including "Yes!")

Faith Trent (young local urban/R&B singer just signed to Tommy Boy Records)

DJ Structure & Low

VIVA LA RUMBA CON

TELEMUNDO STAGE

Centennial Park

High-energy Latin dance,

in reverse order:

Projecto Uno

Los Pariguayos

Area 305

Grupo Wao

Ley Alejandro

WEEKLY PLANET/STAR 95.7 STAGE

Centro Ybor

In reverse order:

Barely Pink (St. Pete power-pop; they're huge in Japan)

"Features Costume Contest" Finals

Helium Bomb (indefinable, dynamic Pinellas rock)

The Urbane Cowboys (rollicking, hooky alt-country)

Big Kitty (gritty female-fronted pop-rock)

Red Tide (intelligent, revolutionary underground hip-hop)

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