Author's note: This is the third installment of a series of pieces that reflect on the year that I first discovered that I like women. I celebrated my "Bi-versary" on Oct. 5, 2010, and felt amazed by all the growth, changes, realizations and events that had occurred in the past year. I went from not knowing I am attracted to women to embracing it, discovering polyamory, and all the adventures that then ensued. The first part of the series begins here. The second part can be found here.
Evening of Friday, March 12, 2010, N's birthday
I don't understand. Where is she? Why won't she respond to any of our calls or texts or IMs? She knows it's N's birthday today. I've been trying for a few days now to nail down whether she'd come over for both the party with our tribe of friends tonight and also tomorrow for time together just the three of us, or just tomorrow. But she won't get back to us. I haven't been able to get a hold of her for the past few days, in fact. I don't understand. Last weekend was so amazing and we were intensely flirting all up through Wednesday. Then the last few days? Nothing. Nothing at all. Where could she be?
I made N the best birthday cake yet in honor of the three of us. It's a threesome cake. I thought it would be funny. Our friends loved it. I had hoped T would be here for the party so we could all have some together. Luckily, I made cupcakes, too, from the extra batter, so we had those tonight, and hopefully she'll come over tomorrow and we can have the cake. Earlier today I tried IMing her several times, finally trying to make her laugh while still making my point, saying, "Look at me! I'm invisible! Wheeee!!" But nothing.
Finally, she texts back.
11:36 p.m.
T: "Sorry you felt invisible"
A moment later: "I think you and N need some time alone."
This article appears in Nov 18-24, 2010.