Before we go any further, let’s get one thing clear for all you modest folks—you aren’t required to be nude anywhere but in the pool at Caliente. We didn’t even get a chance to disrobe before a fully-dressed man named Ernie gave us an introductory tour of the place, pausing only to run a mini-comb through his head of thick grey hair or to wave gregariously at a group of people shouting his name from the pool. He showed us everything, from the weight facility to the fancy spa to the coed locker rooms to the showers without curtains on them (“What’s this world coming to?†he joked) to the Sî Como No tiki bar, which means “Why Not†and is a phrase that Ernie told us we would hear a lot around there.
And to be honest, we were itching to get out of our clothes. During the tour we could feel the eyes on us—not that anyone was staring, but we inevitably drew attention. Walking around a resort where 90% of the people are in the buff, being in all your clothes makes you feel a bit like a republican.
This article appears in Jul 25-31, 2007.