New company will test your partner's undies for foreign body fluids

The Paternity Lab Center has expanded its business model so jealous men no longer have to wait until their partner has a child to find out if she cheated. For around $200, the lab will examine your partner's underwear for foreign semen or vaginal fluids, depending on which sex you suspect your partner of entertaining. The lab claims its results can prove with 100% accuracy if your partner is cheating. This seems plausible given that there are few practical reasons why your partner would have someone else's body fluid on their undies if they were not cheating—unless of course your partner is a stripper.

However, as with paternity testing, these tests can't prove if your partner is faithful. Several factors have to be just right for the test to work with 100% accuracy. Presumably you will have to snatch a pair of underpants that your partner wore after cheating, but before showering. Also, researchers may have a much more difficult time detecting foreign semen if the other man wore a condom, pulled out, or if the liaison was limited to oral sex. Even if the lab does find DNA, it may not be viable enough to cross-check against the jealous partner's sample.

If nothing else, proves that we are at the beginning of companies finding inventive ways to profit off of DNA testing and infidelity.

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  • Someone should check David Beckham's Armani underwear for scientific purposes

There are plenty of foolproof ways to catch your partner cheating. You can find a video of your wife having sex with a construction worker from Memphis posted on your favorite adult tube site. Your husband can call you in the middle of the night to post his bail for soliciting a homeless man for a hummer. Now you can simply steal a pair of your partner's used underpants and ship them off to be examined by strangers in lab coats.

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