Yr Editor has been publishing five days a week since the debut on November
1, but I have to cut back to Mon-Wed-Fri for a while because I'll need
Tuesdays and Thursdays free as I go for Level VII training at the
headquarters in Clearwater.
Florida News, Tearin' Up the Internet
E-mailers and bloggers have had a field day this week with three stories: (1) The city of Miami's proposed simultaneous orgasm at the Orange Bowl as soon as Fidel officially buys the farm (enthusiasm for which, by the way, the city is now trying to tone down); (2) a block of ice from the heavens that landed on a red 2000 Mustang classic that a Tampa man called his dream car (his not-yet-paid-for dream car) (and though it was clear ice, and not the telltale blue, the best guess so far is that it came from an airliner); (3) Tampa Police Dept's handling of a young rape victim who had a felony warrant (a soft one, but felony nonetheless) outstanding against her and who was therefore unceremoniously jailed at her time of major trauma (and who was denied a morning-after contraceptive in lockup, though the duty nurse said it had nothing to do with objection to abortion). (TPD has apologized and will change its procedures.) [Miami Herald] [Tampa Tribune] [Tampa Tribune]
We License Fishing, But Not Parenting (continued)
Tammy Meredith was arrested in Naples, along with the mother of a 13-yr-old girl. Mom was worried the girl would be having sex and so decided to partly close down her genitals with a bar and hoop pierce. Meredith allegedly did the deed with a "piercing gun," which is evidently so dangerous that professionals don't use them anymore. [WBBM-TV (Fort Myers)]
"He Was Trying to Get a Look at the Clock" That's the approximate quote of Randall Bryant, the warden in charge of the December lethal-injection execution of murdering dirtbag Angel Diaz, speaking at an inquiry on the matter. [Yr Editor objects to calling the scum of our prison population "inmates," which sounds neutral or even sympathetic, but I digress.] Bryant thus denied that Diaz's squirming was evidence of his actual pain; he was just straining to see the clock on the wall. "What," asked Diaz's lawyer, "Was he late for an appointment?" [Associated Press via CNN]
Latest Seniors' Gas Pedal/Brake Pedal Moments
In Indialantic, a woman named, er, Lyobov Havkin, age 67, smashed into a day-care center, but no problem. [WKMG-TV (Orlando)] In Palm City, though, a 75-yr-old man drove his car right up the butt of a slow truck (that was spraying a highway median) and impaled himself on a thingee sticking out. [TCPalm.com]
Floridians With Worse Sex Lives Than You
David Schumacher, 22, already a veteran sting-ee of NBC Dateline's "To Catch A Predator" series, was arrested in Punta Gorda for allegedly and without permission walking up behind a girl at Charlotte High School and putting his hands down her pants. [WBBM-TV (Fort Myers)]
Your Daily Loser
It took four men, apparently, to rob the RBC Centura Bank in Orlando, but none of 'em seemed to be aware that banks routinely put exploding dye in the stash bag. According to witnesses, the men couldn't have been more surprised that the bag burst in the parking lot, scattering lots of money to the wind. They fled with some of it, though, and are still at large. [WKMG-TV (Orlando)]
More Things To Worry About Today
Multimillionaire bitch-slapping in Tampa: Auto dealer Ernie Haire was arrested and accused of harassing (phone calling, trespassing, setting off M-80 firecrackers) former corporate raider Paul Bilzerian (whose mansion is next door to Haire's) at 5 a.m. on a Sunday morning [Tampa Tribune] . . . . . Chutzpah: State Sen. Steve Oelrich of Gainesville decided the perfect time to solicit Ñ er, inform people that he's now an insurance agent would be on the day the legislature passed the property insurance bill last week [St. Petersburg Times] . . . . . According to something called the Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force, "If Florida were a country, it would be ninth in the world in child-pornography possession and distribution" [The Ledger (Lakeland)] . . . . . Cynthia Sommer of West Palm Beach was convicted in San Diego, Calif., of poisoning her Marine husband in 2002 for his life insurance, thus explaining (according to prosecutors) her extremely-brief grieving period (followed by wild parties, multiple sex partners, and breast enlargement surgery) [KGTV (San Diego)] . . . . . Speaking of grieving periods, Jacksonville lawyer (and mayoral candidate) Earl Johnson Jr. apparently needs a long one, from the breakup of his two-person law firm in August, which is why he seems not to have done a lick of work since then on an extremely high profile case (man fatally Tasered by a cop), which the judge was thus forced to dismiss this week [Florida Times-Union] . . . . . The latest Lotto winner ($14M, lump sum $8M) was Edward R. Cowal of St. Lucie County, who has come to the state's attention before: He's a registered sex-offender [TCPalm.com]
