The Strength card Credit: josemanuel246 / Shutterstock

Dear Oracle, my brother and dad fight all the time. They often blow up at each other, then don’t speak for a while, using me as a middleman. It’s exhausting. What can I do about it?—Monkey in the Middle 

Cards: King of Swords, Knight of Wands (rev.), High Priestess, Two of Wands (rev.), New Moon

Dear Monkey, I’m sorry that you’re caught in the crosshairs between your dad and your brother. It’s never fun to be dragged into someone else’s fight, and it’s even worse when it’s family. 

Judging by the cards, it’s unsurprising that your father and brother are often going at it. Your dad is the King of Swords —an intelligent man, but one who can be overtly critical and has a long memory for slights. Your brother, on the other hand, is the Knight of Wands: passionate and fiery, and one who isn’t used to holding their tongue. The combination suggests both are quick to take offense and aren’t afraid to share what the other did wrong—and I doubt they would agree that they are both the guilty party. 

But I don’t think this is just the effect of two strong personalities in close contact. The High Priestess is the ruler of both the subconscious and knowledge. She can appear when there is something under the surface that we don’t want to address, when we know there is a problem but refuse to speak about it. 

I don’t think your brother and dad like fighting all the time. I think they both acknowledge that it’s a problem, and both know that it stems from something much deeper than whatever surface-level fight they are currently having. But while the deep-rooted issue is there, I’m not sure they exactly know what to do about it. 

With the Two of Wands reversed, I think this has been a dynamic that they have had for a long time, something they both dislike but don’t know how to change. They keep making the same choices over and over, which leads to the same fights, and the cycle continues. But they don’t have to. The Two of Wands can be a call to change. They can break this cycle—and, most importantly, I think they want to. 

If this has been their dynamic for decades, then they might not know how to stop. A family therapist would probably be a good step, as would an honest conversation about wanting to change (if they can do so without fighting). 

But what are you supposed to do about it? Nothing. As the New Moon, you can withdraw your energy and let yourself off the hook for this one. You can tell them that you won’t be the go-between; if they want the other person to know something, they have to tell him themselves. I know that is far easier said than done, but one way to break this cycle for yourself is to opt out. I hope they mend their fences. Best of luck, my dear. 

Send your questions to oracle@cltampa.com or DM @theyboracle on Instagram

Dear Oracle, three years ago, I lost the love of my life to cancer. We had talked about marriage and children, and even though we didn’t get there, I am so grateful for the time I had with her. At my birthday a few weeks ago, some of our mutual friends brought up that my love would want me to be happy and still get married/have children, and I agreed. (She told me so when she was still alive.) I do think I’m ready to start looking again…but I have no idea how. I truly believe she was my soulmate, so how am I supposed to date casually? Do the cards have any advice?—Dare to date?

Cards: Strength, The Star (rev.), Four of Swords, The Chariot (rev.) 

Dear DD, I am so sorry for your loss. As someone who has also lost loved ones to quick and brutal cancer, I know how devastating that can be and how cruel it can seem to them. A piece of advice I once got about mourning was that after a death, you can choose to either lay a part of yourself down in the coffin with them, or carry a part of them and let them live through you. I think your love would want you to be happy, so seeking happiness is a way to honor her. You’re doing it for those who can’t. 

It is difficult, but you’ve done difficult things. You are going to do this the same way you got through the last three years: with strength. As the Strength card, you are not forcing things to happen. You’re walking side by side with your grief, but it doesn’t have the same power it once did. You can lead your own way. 

The Star is a card of both hope and about our truest self. It’s who we are without anyone’s expectations, balanced and happy. During times of great grief, we put parts of ourselves away for one reason or another. Maybe it didn’t feel appropriate, maybe it was too hard to bear. But what is something that makes you ‘you’? What’s something that brings you joy, something you haven’t done in a while? Grief does shape us, but our core self is still in there. How can you become a bit more like yourself? 

The Four of Swords suggests that you’ve taken a long time to think about what you want, that you have moved through your grief, and even though it may not go away completely, even though you might still be in mourning, you are not acting rashly. It’s a card that can appear after deep reflection, and I think you know what you want: a loving relationship and a family. 

With The Chariot, the only path is forward—but as it’s reversed, maybe ease yourself back into the game. You might not be ready for full-on dates, but maybe do something Star-like (a concert? Improv show? Run club?) and allow yourself to talk to other women. If the vibes are right, maybe even lightly flirt! 

I know the darkness of grief can feel everlasting, but the light of hope from The Star and the momentum of The Chariot will, in time, help pull you through. I’m proud of you for stepping into the light, my dear.  

See more of Caroline and learn about her services via carolinedebruhl.com.

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This article appears in Oct. 30 – Nov. 5, 2025.

Caroline DeBruhl is a writer, tarot-reader, and wedding officiant living in Tampa. She follows The Dark Mother, Hekate, a primordial goddess of many things, including crossroads, ghosts, liminal spaces,...