Oracle of Ybor: I was all set to visit my crush, but then her college ex-boyfriend said he was coming, too

If you don't tell her, you'll never know.

click to enlarge The Knight of Swords in reverse is the blast from the past who does not forget a commitment. - Photo via MYR/Adobe
Photo via MYR/Adobe
The Knight of Swords in reverse is the blast from the past who does not forget a commitment.
Dear Oracle, a decade ago, in college, my good friend "Grant" dated "Annie." I had a massive crush on Annie but obviously did nothing about it. (But she might have had a crush on me too?) They broke up a couple of years after college, she moved across the country, and we've kept in touch over text. I've sort-of-kind-of pined after her all this time. And this weekend, I'm going to visit her in her city! And she invited me to stay with her!! My plan had been to feel out the situation and, if things still felt flirty, confess to her. Then yesterday, out of nowhere, Grant told me he's going to visit Annie. This weekend. Annie's now invited him to also stay at her place. So my question is…what the fuck am I supposed to do now?—Ruh-roh Romeo

Cards: Knight of Cups, Eight of Cups (reversed), Knight of Swords (reversed)


Dear Romeo, oh, man. So many questions. Do you think Grant knew that you've been pining for a decade, planned on visiting, and purposefully crashed this trip? Or is this just some unbearably bad cosmic timing?

If it's the former, Grant's being gross and weirdly territorial. (They broke up years ago!) But if Grant has also been carrying the torch for Annie and decided that he had to confess this weekend or his heart would burst… well, at least it'd make for a great screenplay.

Send your questions for the Oracle to [email protected] or DM @theyboracle on Instagram
First and foremost: if Annie wants to date either of you or neither of you, she will make that call. Maybe she wants to date both of you (throuple power), or she might already have a partner and just likes hosting people. I don't know, man. There are a lot of moving variables here.

Unfortunately, the cards aren't offering much insight. We have the Knight of Cups, the champion of love and big "R" Romance. This, I'm assuming, is you. Then we have the Knight of Swords in reverse: the blast from the past who does not forget a commitment and, when he knocks on a door, does so with all his might. That, I'm assuming, is Grant.

Then, in the middle, we have the Eight of Cups reversed. Eight of Cups can be a card of leaving what is known to strike out on a new path. If this is Annie, that's good news for you. Maybe she wouldn't want to date her ex again and be open to dating a Knight of Cups.

Of course, the Eight of Cups can also mean feeling adrift and disappointed with the options presented.

So.

I can't tell you how it'll play out. But, honestly, if you've yearned for this girl for a decade, tell her. What's the worst that can happen? She rejects you and marries Grant? If it happens, it happens.

But if you don't get some resolution, one way or another, you might just keep longing for her. You might fall in love with a fantasy and miss out on a great relationship with someone IRL. (Possibly even with Annie.)

Whatever happens, I hope you end up with someone who'll always carry a torch for you. Best of luck, my dear.

Dear Oracle, I'm in the process of looking for a new full-time job. I have been struggling with the process and am trying to figure out what's best for me at the moment. On one hand, I enjoy my current job and coworkers. On the other, I feel stuck and in need of a catalyst. Any advice?—Need a Change

Cards: The Sun (reversed), Page of Cups, The Hierophant, Ace of Cups


Dear Change, have you ever thought about going to grad school? I know that probably wasn't the answer you were expecting (or even considering) but hear me out.

There is a want that's driving you, a feeling of finding your calling and having everything just *click * into place. That's The Sun reversed at the top of this spread. You know that you could be much happier with your career/life, but the path toward that option has yet to arrive.

Then we have you as the Page of Cups, a creative visionary who is just starting to explore all the mysteries of the world. There are probably a lot of things that interest you, from the creative to the philosophical to the practical, but there are a few things that you truly love. Right now, you need help figuring out how to take that love and turn it into a career.

So here comes The Hierophant, the Major Arcana card of institutions. Originally, it meant "The Catholic Church," but nowadays, it's often academia. (Unless you've always wanted to become a man of the cloth, in which case, enjoy seminary.)

This institutional path is going to help you in two ways. First, it will lead you to find what you love to do. We see this with the Ace of Cups being the last card. Then, it's going to open that path toward The Sun. The Major Arcana often speak to each other because they're the most important.

But the two Cup cards are also telling. Your job right now is "fine," but it's not what excites you because you don't have an emotional connection with it. As the Page of Cups, I think you'll only get to that Sun if you genuinely love your work.

I've written before about how fucked up higher ed can be and how predatory student loans are, so I know "going to grad school" is not an easy or quick suggestion. But do some soul-searching and a ton of research and see if you can find a few programs that engage your heart and mind and have funding.

Who knows? It might be something completely different from your current job and be something creative or something interdisciplinary that works with a variety of your interests. Whatever it is, I hope it’s the catalyst you need to start that path to The Sun.

Best of luck!
Scroll to read more Columns articles

Newsletters

Join Creative Loafing Tampa Bay Newsletters

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.