Oracle of Ybor: Your boss isn’t ignoring your emails, they’re ignoring everyone’s

Finding strength.

click to enlarge The Strength card is often a woman holding open the mouth of a lion.
The Strength card is often a woman holding open the mouth of a lion.
Dear Oracle, I feel like I’m getting the runaround at my job. Any advice on approaching a boss who might be dodging my calls and emails?—Worker Bea

Cards: Five of Cups (reversed), Eight of Wands (reversed), Four of Swords

Dear Worker Bea, I’m sorry that you feel like you’re getting the “runaround” at your job. It’s a bummer to feel like you’re being ignored, especially when it comes to your work, and it can lead to some very frustrating feelings. However, while your feelings are valid, they might not encompass everything that’s going on.

The good news is that I don’t think your boss is specifically dodging your calls and emails; I think they’re probably dodging everyone’s. The middle card of the spread is The Eight of Wands, which feels like everything is coming at you all at once.

This is what your boss is feeling. They’re overwhelmed and trying to battle the hydra of whatever business you’re in. With it being reversed, I’d guess this has been happening for months.
Send your questions for the Oracle to [email protected] or DM @theyboracle on Instagram

On top of that, I think your boss is probably burned out. The Five of Cups is the stagnation in relationships, which includes relationships with things we love. Your boss might have loved their job at one point, but judging by that reverse, they haven’t felt that love for quite a while.

The good news is that this doesn’t have to do with you.

The Four of Swords is a card that asks us to remove our ego from a situation; in this case, it’s to not take your boss’s unresponsiveness personally. The bad news is that I don’t think this is an issue you can help fix. Of course, you can speak to your boss and mention your concerns. Give concrete examples of how it’s affecting your work but be aware that your boss might now be capable of changing things at this moment.

Hopefully, your boss can get some help soon and, in turn, you get the attention you need for your work. In the meantime, just try to do your best. If you need to jump ship, do, but if you like this job/boss, see if there’s a workaround.

I’m sorry. I hope it gets better.

Dear Oracle, I was in an unhealthy relationship with two friends. After a bad experience, we had a falling out a few months ago, which led to me cutting them off. While I don’t regret what I did (they were very toxic), I still think about the cruel things they said, making me feel bad. How can I move on from this?—Hurting in the Heights

Cards: Strength (reversed), The Sun, The Star

Dear Hurting, I’m very sorry that you were in a situation where you felt hurt by people who were supposed to be your friends. It’s a betrayal, and while I’m glad you’re no longer with them, I’m sorry their shitty miasma is still clinging to you.

With three Major Arcana, this was clearly a very big deal for you, and healing from this relationship is something that shouldn’t be dismissed as simply “getting over it.”

The first card is Strength reversed. In my deck, it’s a woman walking with a bear, though often it’s a woman holding open the mouth of a lion. Oftentimes “Strength” gets translated as “force” or “fortitude,” which isn’t the whole truth. Both woman and beast are in a relaxed pose. There is mutual respect and reciprocity, not brute power. In this case, I think your friends were the bear, and I think they tried to eat you. There was no reciprocity or respect, and it did require a lot of fortitude to leave.

The good news is that you’re no longer friends with these people. You don’t have to talk to them again. You are entering your Sun phase. The Sun is a card of joy and celebration, which makes sense that it’s coming up as you exit this toxic relationship. This was the right decision, and you know it. When we’re with cruel people, they often suck the joy out of any situation, like a shitty vampire.

So, what do you have the energy for now that you aren’t hanging out with a pair of vampire-bears? How can you embrace some of that joy from The Sun? Maybe spend more time with friends that respect you? Start a gratitude practice? Hang out with a dog? Having a solid base of joy will help you with the next part.

The Star is a card of both transformation and transfiguration. To get pretty hippie on you for a second, you still have poison in you from this relationship, and it needs to be pulled out and transformed into medicine. This might require working with a therapist or journaling and examining what happened with these friends. When did this toxic behavior towards you start? What did they do to normalize it?

By laying out the facts, you may see a pattern. This could help you figure out the “why” of it (maybe they were jealous/in pain/just a pair of sociopaths), but more importantly, it’ll allow you to see the full scope of the betrayal. Friends who are casually cruel are betraying your trust, and when people we trust and care about treat us cruelly, we’re more likely to internalize it.

But if you can see their entire campaign of shittiness, that takes away some of its power and forces you to see it externally. This wasn’t about you. They were vampire-bears before you, and unless they work on it, they’ll be vampire-bears in the future.

The Star is also a card of harmony, and paired with The Sun, I have no doubt that you’ll be able to drain out all of that poison and feel the warmth and glow of the light.
Scroll to read more Columns articles
Join the Creative Loafing Tampa Bay Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state.
Help us keep this coverage going with a one-time donation or an ongoing membership pledge.


Join Creative Loafing Tampa Bay Newsletters

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Creative Loafing Tampa Bay, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at [email protected]